'Cause I got nothin' to talk about...

I'm sure I'll find something to bitch or rant about online sooner or later, just haven't had a whole lot to say lately. I'm not depressed or unhappy with my life, just don't have much going on. The trip to Michigan is a week from Friday, so if I don't come up with anything beforehand, I'm sure I'll have plenty to say during and after my trip. For now, enjoy some pictures!

My baby loves to eat!

Mommy dearest and one of her demon spawn...

Littlefoot is on pussy patrol!

Me sneaking around at Lacey's job... They want THIS working there? And they say I'm crazy... XD

This is me at the beginning of my relationship with that sperm donor I almost married, pre-pregnancy. I was probably 105 pounds soaking wet at this point and was far less tittyrific...

Last one. These are two of my BJDs but this photo isn't recent. I took this one morning in NH and yes, that is natural light, nothing has been done to this. I was just sorta playing around at the time, but then I found it in my Photobucket and... Does it remind you of a certain pair of newlyweds? :3

Rei~

Art. And guess who's back?

This is Xhu Yi, a new character I created. She's a Chinese assassin. Inspired by my love of Hong Kong action and CAT 3 films.

Just a zombie looking for some shade. Nothing to see here... *Arm falls off*

There goes the neighborhood...

Rei~

Mrs. Irwin... I love it!

I've finally rid myself of the last chain that bound me to that fucking walrus. I am honored to be an Irwin now and I've promised Lacey and her parents that I'd do their name proud. :3

It has been the most amazing day of my life. I might not have a lot of friends and family, but I love and appreciate the ones I do have more than life itself. Janice is the grandmother I never had. She is so supportive of Lacey and I and she treats my wife like her own child and not just an employee. She gave us a check for a thousand dollars this afternoon and said "Spoil yourselves. Don't pay bills with it!"

My mom was a teary mess at the ceremony, but she is happy for us and I'm forever in her debt for bringing Lacey into my life. :3 I love her and feel closer to her than ever. She's been busy and hasn't had a lot of time to make things, but managed to throw together a naughty little pink mesh/net number for me to give to Lace tonight. Lacey could make the plague look cute, but she is FUCKING HOT in this! Mommy dearest has more clothing in the works, but she also gave us a giftcard to a restaurant called Jamie's. It's an adorable place and we'll be going for lunch this weekend.

Saved the best for last. Darling, your unwavering love and support has meant so much! Not just these last few months, through everything all these years. You are my sister. I wish there were words for how much you mean to me, and now Lacey, too. Your love and friendship is the best thing you could ever give me. Money gets spent, material things wear out and break. Our friendship will endure. I love you and cannot wait for the day when I can hug you tightly. Your husband is a lucky, lucky man and I love him, too. :3

Rei~

Sometimes...

I feel useless. So many people tell me that they wish they could stay home all day and get paid for it. First of all, the pay fucking sucks. I'm not gonna say what I get a month, but it's not enough to live on by itself. Lacey makes more in about 2 1/2 weeks. It seems like more than it is, too, because you get it all at once. Before Lacey, I was budgeting next to nothing by the middle of the month...

I envy working people. Sitting home all day gets old pretty fucking quick, I'll tell you. If you think your job is boring and monotonous, try staring at the same walls, doing the same routine and the loneliness of being by yourself every day. I've been doing it since I was 18 (and "getting paid for it" that is.). I'm not just lazy and don't wanna work.

So many people have told me to just suck it up and get a job. They don't understand crippling anxiety or depression. I had a fast food job for a week when I was 16. I've rarely felt so emotionally overwhelmed by anything. Everything they trained me to do came hard. I was terrified of screwing up at every turn. It was busy when I was being trained to cook and the manager was a bit impatient, I broke down and cried. It was all horrible. What if I screw up the register? What if I make someones food wrong and/or they get sick? Please, don't get too busy. Then there is the fact that I'm just a socially awkward person anyway and my physical problems...

I'm not a leech, a fraud, or anything that is associated with people who receive government funds. I would give up my monthly check for a weekly one that includes a sense of accomplishment and usefulness in a heartbeat.

Rei~

Not to be outdone...

Stupid picture of my feet #6462.5. 

Error: The internet crashed. Contact your administrator and tell them to ban these stupid broads who take pictures of their feet. 

Elated to be marrying my Lacey on Friday! Other than that I haven't had much going on today. Lots of Splinter Cell: Blacklist. Getting mah hur did tomorrow! Weeee!

Rei~

To Brianne:

The necklace says it all, in more ways than one. You have no fucking idea how furious I am with Lacey's sister (I use that word ever so loosely) Brianne right now. Who the fuck says shit like that to anyone, let alone their baby sister?! 

Lacey idolized you, looked to you for guidance. You helped her, yes, but you didn't mind treating her like dog shit in between your bouts of "kindness". I had a little brother, I miss him every day. Did I fight with him and say mean things? Who doesn't? But I didn't usually mean them. I know you do, though. Rather than helping shape her, you made her question and fear people. She wondered if everyone was like you. She knows that everyone isn't a dualistic fuckhead now, no thanks to you.

You can call me a pedophile, say she's got some childlike fetish or disorder, you know nothing. If she is childlike, you made her that way. I see a beautiful WOMAN that truly enjoys and embraces her femininity. We are supposed to be the fairer, kinder sex, after all. Maybe you should double check your fat rolls for a cock, you sick bitch!

If I ever see you again, you will be hurt or killed. There are no two ways about it. Otherwise, I hope the next thing you spew out of your cumstained pie hole is your vital organs after they've turned to acidic liquid shit!

Love, Your future sister-in-law,

Rei~

Rainbow Hime spreads joy!

She emerges from behind a giant cupcake...

Then is surprised by Lacey while attempting to cast a happy spell of cuteness!

She attempts to call the Rainbow planet, but it's $399 a half second. She is saddened.

Lacey-chan tells her how beautiful she is and that she will keep her safe on Earth.

The rest is not able to be shown, but they lived happily ever after.

Immortalized in Sandwich.

We've had A&E on tonight because DirecTV is so lovely and even though it stays on in blizzards, a gentle breeze takes away most of our channels. Whatever, it doesn't cost us anything extra... Anyway, we started getting bombarded by THIS!!!!! Seriously, it was being played 2-3 times every commercial break!

I know, the spelling of my name was obviously changed to cheat me out of royalties... I've come full circle, dear peasants. I'm a turkey sandwich at like, the 7th most popular fast food chain. What have you done? Donated your vital organs to Tiny Tim? Pfffttt...

Rei~

Threw this together...

Sort of a schoolgirl/Loli hybrid thing, I guess. Skirt is by me, the rest is brought to you by Ucif Ali Bin Gaba's Sweat Shack of Indonesia, a satellite company of Walmart. Changed up my hair a bit this morning, too. Lacey Lace is frying up cheeseburgers for lunch. Omnomnom! She looks quite tasty as well! :3

Rei~

My "boyfriend" who didn't make it.

Experienced a minor bit of ignorance/intolerance today. I think you know where I stand with shit like that. This culture that is so fucking pious is actually incredibly sick. It is obsessed with sex, yet at the same time pretends to be disgusted when a sex scandal breaks or some fucking starlet's nipple pops out on TV. You can't have it both ways. Gays, lesbians and all the rest are people. That should be first and fucking foremost, but it is not. These sick fucks are the ones that propogate the stereotypes and fear. I'm going to tell you a little story of a person I knew as a teenager that was so afraid of being outed and honest with himself, he lived a lie with me.

His name was Drew and I met him when I was in the art club in high school. He was kinda tall and lanky, awkward as all of us art dweebs were. Nobody talked to the poor kid much. I just started doing projects with him and we got friendly. I might've been 15, but I knew he didn't like girls. Then he invited me to his house one weekend and this fucking shit spiral began.

His parents fucking lit up like a Christmas tree when they saw him with me. I think they had suspicions about him being gay and seeing him with a female eased them. I knew about him, but I didn't know I was his "girlfriend" in the eyes of his family. I was furious inside at first, but then we were watching TV and his dad pulled him aside (never learned why) but when he sat next to me again, he looked relieved, like he'd lost a weight he'd been shackled to for years. I played along.

He was cool about it at first, just wanting to hold hands, hug, get a kiss in public every now and then. Then people started asking questions about what was going on behind closed doors, his father asked if he'd fucked me for godsakes... I wouldn't go there. I'd do whatever he wanted otherwise, but I wasn't gonna let him tell people intimate shit about me or have him taking nudie pics and showing them around. I had a few relationships in my teens, prior to whatever this was, I lost my virginity at 14. Enough had been said. And as far as the pics, there weren't ever any, but this was before digital cameras and you couldn't just delete them or email and complain.

I dumped his ass. He was getting too demanding. I was also hurting my chances with people I wanted a real relationship with by doing this shit. He was destroyed by it. His family even called and asked me to reconsider. He was also terrified that I was gonna expose him, even though I promised I wouldn't when I ended it. He ran away the next year. I learned that he ended up sleeping on the streets and got beaten to death over debts and drugs.

Do I blame myself? I did. Not anymore. This is what our society forces people to do. Fuck who you're supposed to fuck or become a laughing stock and get snuffed out. Jesus would be proud of his followers...

Rei~

This is the NEW shit!

Scribbled that yesterday. Wasn't feeling good physically or mentally.

Just a random Victorian woman. Finished her this morning. 

Rei~

Susumu Hirasawa - Fish Song

Far too few know of this brilliant, amazing man. He's huge in Japan and he does have a small and devoted following worldwide, but it's not enough. Susumu Hirasawa has been making innovative, beautiful music both on his own and with his bands P-MODEL/KAKU P-MODEL for longer than most of todays music fans have been alive. His solo stuff is particularly striking. Hirasawa takes musical stylings from around the world and blends them into a package that often defies classification. His live shows are both bizarre and moving, too. While not as dark as AVC, like her, Hirasawa is one of a kind and cannot be missed. :3



Rei~

Backbone Practise (unpleasant reminder in a subterranean pathology department)

Words by: Anna Varney Cantodea

We are entering the operating theater of the familiar morgue: the student nurses are making a lot of noise, their voices echo from the bare tiled walls ...- I improvise a fainting fit: "I cannot bare these voices anymore ...!"

The tiny spineless spider, who really is a dog, has hurt herself - or did she get hurt? - something 'bout her back ...- oh, does she need a new one?
Torso-less she only consists of legs ...- much like a crushed little cross, a tiny crucifix.
So cautiously she's stalking now across the palm of my right hand,
merely a thin branch in the wind,
touching the wound ... where I had cut my finger.

I hand her over to the nurses, one of them - directed by the teacher - carries out the operation, for which I don't have the knowledge.
One day everyone must fulfill this very task alone, as it's the only way to learn ... and in the end become a master ... - yes, this means responsibility, and it's connected directly to stress and fear.

The little spider has her operation on a table that is decorated like a forest, all with thicket and fir trees ... -
and right beside the flashing lights and displays on the instruments.

So hear now of the very scene that happened right before this here:

An elephant stands on the plane roof of a tall cathedral ... very close to the edge.
"Climb down his tail, as if it were a rope! Have faith and confidence, believe that he will hold you!"
But the elephant is not anchored in the ground, yes, he might have the will to remain in position, perhaps doing everything in his power to hold me, not to slip and fall himself ... - but in my opinion this is hardly enough.
Can this be a question of trust, at all ?!?

Looking out of the window, while the underground moves down into the tunnel ...- a man, who has already passed the elephant-test, says: "Fear must be conquered, boy! Many of what comes up are merely old Fears of Death!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

This has become my favorite song ever. I'm dead fucking serious. I literally just copied that from the booklet, word for word and used the exact grammar she did. AVC is the greatest song writer I've ever come across. You could spend hours dissecting the meanings and metaphors. Imagine trying to do it for a career that's spanned almost 30 years? Good luck. "LA CHAMBRE D'ECHO" Where the Dead Birds Sing is one of her best albums ever, too. A lot of people label this project as Darkwave, and it's really not. Sopor Aeternus, if you really wanna break it down, is Neo-Classical/Gothic Folk for the most part. What isn't actually played by the orchestra is programmed in electronically, yes. But that doesn't make it Darkwave. If synthesized symphonics constituted electronica, symphonic metal wouldn't exist. However, LA CHAMBRE and Flowers in Formaldehyde ARE actual forays into Darkwave. My hand is tired...

Rei~

Uh, yeah...

That's a Pikachu suit...THING... I dunno. Yes, yes, I'm losing it. (Moreso?) Eating cheese bread and being a dweeb.

Rei~

How to beat up an asshole...

So I just wanted to go see my kitty and her little buddy. Mommy, too, of course. I drove there in the rain and her and her boyfriend's cars were there. I went in and he was losing it on her about something. She was in tears and I just can't have any more of that. I asked what was going on and he looked at me all enraged and shit. "Get out you fucked up little psycho!" WUUUTTTT?! What the fuck did I do to deserve that?

I stood there a moment, he called my mom a no good old slut, and then I started closing in on him and telling him how fucking dare he say that shit to her. When I got near him, he grabbed me by my hair (Ruining a perfectly good organized/messy thing that I'd put together. The fucking nerve!) and told me to shut up and get out. Then, like a gentleman, he began escorting me to the door with my hair still in hand.

I tripped over my crooked feet and fell down. Didn't hurt or anything, it actually provided me with the nutshot I needed to bring him down, so that's what I did. I planted a fist in his ball bag, hard as I could and he hunched over in pain. Before he could recover, I was back on my feet and I gave him two swift, hard kicks in the jewels and then he fell to his knees. No kids for you, sweetheart. Then I kicked him in his fucking mouth. If I didn't have these crooked stems, I'd have made my mom a necklace out of his pearly whites. Instead, I lost my balance and just made his lip gush blood. It was worth it.

He left and threatened to sue me. Good luck! Fucking musclehead got beat up by his girlfriend's skinny ass daughter. Can you see that in court? XD Spent the rest of my time there calming my mom down and finding out what started it. She was talking to a guy online and he got jealous. He'd been going through her phone and found some texts he didn't like. Had he bothered to ask, she'd have told him that what he found was just a playful conversation with a gay guy that makes clothes, too. Oh, and he lives in England! Moron... Threw away a great catch for stupid, misplaced jealousy.

Oh, and I saw all the pics he sent her and some other stuff I could've done without. He wasn't tiny, but it's not exactly anything to write home about, either. Love you, mom! You can do better!

Heroin and You: A guide.

For all of you little darlings that wanna get high, that think "I'm not gonna get hooked! Let's go eat pills and all will be merry!" I'm gonna give you a wakeup call. This is not me preaching to you or telling you how to live your lives. This is just the truth on how this all works and my own experiences with this lovely drug...

It starts with pills, most of the time. Whether you're actually in pain or you just wanna get fucked up, the medicine cabinet or the dude on the street is where most people start. You wanna know what the problem with pills is? They always run out. Getting high off some fives? They don't last, hotshot. You become immune to their effects after awhile and you need more and more, but there's a problem.

Ask anyone that's been around drugs for a long time (like myself!) and they'll tell you of the days when you could get a months worth of Percs for a hangnail. That's just not the case anymore. These days you've gotta sign narcotics contracts, take piss tests, and that's provided your doctor even wants to write for them at all. There are many, many doctors that refuse to write scripts for any type of narcotics because they don't want to deal with addicts, losing their license or get a surprise visit from the DEA.

So where do you get your pills? Some lucky fuck that has a script and wants to sell it. Hope you saved your pennies, darling.

Street price guide:

Percocet goes for a dollar a milligram. People will cut you deals if you know them, but if they're in short supply you can expect those to vanish.

Vicodin is tricky. You can usually get the 10s for about five or six bucks a pill. Some people charge more, but you're an idiot if you pay it. Unlike Percs, you can't get Vicodin without the Tylenol in it. Therefore, if you wanna crush and snort it, your nose WILL burn.

Those are the main two that people are prescribed, but here are a few more:

Dilaudid: This shit is awesome, but when heroin/pills got huge, most doctors stopped prescribing big doses. On average, you'll run into people pawning off 2mg pills. They're worth about $2, honestly. Don't get all starry-eyed when someone offers it to you for big money.

Morphine Sulfate: Wanna get obliterated? Take 15mg of this shit and you'll be a happy camper. Average price is $15-$30, but it gets crazy as the dose goes up. A 100mg pill can run into three digits. Trust me, you don't wanna be that fucking high...

Opana: I don't know of the condition that warrants this insanity. Opana isn't well known, and it's probably better that way. It's Percocet (50mg) and Morphine (50-100mg) in one pill. Again, fucking with this is gonna cost you big and the high is just too fucking intense.

Suboxen: The wonder drug that helps you get off dope also gets you wrecked if you have no dope in your system. 4mg pills/strips go for about $7-$10. 8mg, $15-$20. Don't take any other opiates while this is in your system, they won't work.

Try making a habit out of that. See how fast you get broke and even if you don't, pills come and go fast. If your connections run dry and you're jonesing, heroin is your next stop.

The reason heroin is the problem that it is these days is because needles have been taken out of the equation for new users. Snortable heroin is very real and it has created a new generation of addicts. However, like most drugs, snorting only works so long and then you start shooting it.

The problem with the snortable shit is that dealers have adapted the technique of "cutting" the drug, a longtime practice with cocaine. Most dealers don't wanna kill their customers, so they'll cut it with something harmless like a multivitamin or something. For those that don't know what cutting is, it's mixing drugs with other substances to maximize profits and give you less of what you're actually paying for so you'll come back for more.

There's a big problem happening now, though. There are dealers selling H that's been cut with drugs like Fentanyl and it guarantees an almost instant death. When I was in NH and back on this shit, there were at least 6-7 people that had gotten tainted dope from MA, gone back up there and dropped dead. Yes, I was scared shitless... The spike in deaths isn't always driving away business, though. In many cases, it's HELPING bring in more profits. Stupid assholes seeking insane highs with the "I can handle it, they've just never done it like that" mentality... *Sigh*

I could write about this for days. I'm not trying to glorify it or endorse it, just trying to make people aware. It has cost me so damn much, financially and personally. Please, if you know someone who does this, don't make fun or shun them. Get them help.

Rei~

Fucking tired of this...

That's me outside this morning, enjoying the nice weather and a cup of coffee. If you read the inside of the cup, it says "You're Special". This isn't gonna be some self-depricating rant about how I think the cup is a lying jackoff... No, this is just the straight up fucking truth.

That's me in the summer of 2013. I'll wait while my fans glomp over the wig and the outfit... *tick tock* Done? Good. I didn't post this to show you how awesome I make that window look. Take a look at my left leg (Right side in the pic) and what do you see? It looks like a cute pose, huh? It's not.

My entire goddamn life, everyone from kids in school to teachers and the walrus have told me to stand up properly or that I stand funny. These days it's ignorant fucking women making smartass remarks that I think I'm/trying to be a diva. What the fuck does that even mean? Divas used to be iconic women in show business. Now they're loudmouthed, fatassed black women who star in "housewife" reality shows when they're not even married. I don't think I fall into either category.

I was in the pharmacy with Lacey getting her prescriptions and we were browsing around while waiting for them to be ready. We were looking at makeup and there were two other women there, also. They kept looking at us and then I heard one say something about "Miss diva in black over there". As much as I'd have liked to make a smartass remark back, I just can't anymore. 

I'm so beat down from the comments and ridicule. Sick of fucking explaining it. I just walked away. They probably laughed at the way I walk, too. Whatever. It hurts, it always has. Physically and emotionally. I'm not sure how the hell I remember this, but I was playing with a bunch of kids after school one day when I was six. Some older kid (maybe 10 or so) came over and said "Oh, look! You can finally walk! Took you long enough." I couldn't walk properly until I was 4, so... *Sigh*

Rei~

Short Stuff will be fine!

Lacey had her appointment this afternoon and her sexy little legs were almost banging together in the waiting room, she was so nervous. I went in the office with her and I think it helped a good deal. The doctor checked her range of motion in her neck, poked around at her, all that stuff that doctors do to make you hurt even fucking worse later. He seemed pleased, but when she told him about all the pain she's been having, he ordered some xrays.

There's degeneration in the disks, but it's not horrible and doesn't need surgery. She looked so damn happy and relieved, I even smiled. Gonna be selfish for a sec and say that if she'd ended up going under the knife, my sex life would be in the toilet. XD He's worried about the pain and should it keep up, she's gonna need an MRI and then we go from whatever that says. He upped how many Vicodin she can take and I chimed in with a little white lie and said that she'd gone to the ER for the pain and they gave her a few Valium that seemed to help. No, they're not for me, I have my own. I've been giving her mine and they DO help, but doctors and law enforcement tend to frown upon that sorta thing... ^^;

And there you have it! :3

Rei~

It really is superstition...

I met my Lacey on Friday February 13th. Tomorrow is Friday March 13th, one month exactly. Barring a total fucking cataclysmic breakdown, I'd say it's my lucky day and number. Lacey has a half day of work, her doctors appointment, and then a big date with me. She just found out about the last part. :3 Best month of my life!

http://ortarestaurant.com/site/

This place is awesome. Made the reservation when I was at my mom's the other day... Cannot wait! *Kisses Lacey*

Rei~

This is just what happens when you live with me...

I got up early this morning because I knew I had to drive Lace to work. She doesn't have to be there until 8:00 AM, so of course I was up at 5:30... I did all of my usual morning stuffs, then woke her up. While she was in the shower for 45 minutes (Trimming the golden path to Rei's happiness, no doubt.) I decided to do this:

I was in the kitchen drinking coffee and feeding Mr. Snatch Sniffer the cereal I didn't finish. She came out of our room after she'd gotten dressed and was a little stunned, to say the very least. She turned from sleepy cutie pie to fangirl in about a half second. I was not done...

Return of the rainbow wig, bitchez! Do you like my crazy good photo editing skillz?! (The letter of the day is - Z!) I took these in our room and it's in desperate need of cleaning. Dildos, vibrators, sleazy underwear, all that shit us harlot dykes just have on hand at all times... (Nah, just messy.) This actually didn't take long to put together. And yes, the clothes are Rei Originalz. We had fun taking these! 

I've been a hit so far today. I got lots of compliments when we left so I could take her to work. Got a few puzzled/stunned looks at traffic lights, then people around where she works shouted some nice things! :3 Good to be different(er) for today, at least. You never know when these things will happen with me...

Rei~

Lacey's neck...

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, I know she has. But my pretty has an awful neck problem. She's resting in our room at the moment, drugged to the hilt on Vicodin, Soma and Valium. I gave her a massage, put some BioFreeze on and tried heat and ice, but it didn't do much. When all else fails, get stoned. ;)

She downplays how strong she really is. A certain mom (that's spelled backwards to shield her identity) told me that she sees Lacey looking pretty uncomfortable sometimes at work. She hasn't had a lot of bad nights in terms of waking up in pain, but she sleeps on four big pillows and even then she tosses and turns and whimpers a lot.

She has an appointment with her orthopedist on Friday which I will be taking her to. She is absolutely terrified of having to have neck surgery. I know the accident she was in gave her nasty whiplash, caused cervical disk damage and she's got bonespurs, too. Her car was totalled and it was not her fault. She's done the PT, the injections, the same song and dance I've been going through for five years with my back... Surgery might be the last option left.

I know they've got those fancy lazer surgeries now, but even with good insurance, you end up paying for some and she can't take on anymore bills at present. I've promised her that if it comes to that, I'll help her every step of the way. I know they wouldn't let me, but I'd go in the O.R. and hold her hand if she wanted. Her sister had to do that when she had her injections. (The only pain worse than a needle in your spine is child birth. Done both.)

We'll see what happens Friday, but I hate seeing her in pain... Gonna go see if she needs anything else.

Rei

Der ewig wachsenden Garten der Liebe ...(The ever-growing garden of love ...)

Was gonna put this on paper, but I really want her to see it ASAP...

No one has ever cared for me like you do. When you sent me that message, my eyes reopened to the possibility that happiness could be attained once more. I couldn't have predicted that you'd bring me a level of happiness that I'd not known prior.

When I first saw you, I was entranced by your physical beauty, but now, I'm even more in awe of what lies beneath the exterior. You are the kindest, most gentle soul I've ever known. It's almost as though you are from a different time. The way you've cared for me while I was ill, that you do not judge me, that you listen to everything I have to say with open ears and mind. There are so few like you anymore.

That you are willing to share the rest of your young life with me is the greatest honor I've been given. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Lacey. You are my love, my life, my world. I promise, I will never hurt you or stray, and I will always protect you.

Ich schätze jeden Moment und bis zu meinem letzten Atemzug werde ich dir alles von mir. Ich liebe dich. (I appreciate every moment and until my last breath I will give you all of me. I love you.)


Rei~

Edit - Put up the translations so I don't look like a pretentious asstard.

The cat speaks volumes...

Chilling out after a long day of doing cat stuff. Her body language sort of reflects my own. The rigors of the last day or so have taken their toll on me, just wanna rest. How can I when faced with a feisty, pint-sized blonde who brings me flowers, dinner, and starts playing footsies with me at the table? Then we finished eating and she's hungry for me. 

She made it ALL about me tonight. I didn't think I'd be saying this about someone who'd never had sex with another female before, at least not yet... But she already knows each and every button to press and when and how to press it. :3 I didn't leave her hanging, I did my part, too, but this round belongs to my pretty. 

She's gone home for the evening. I sorta debated going with her, but I didn't wanna just leave my mom after how good she's been to me today. That, and the euphoria and the playfulness will wear off. I know that I'll be up thinking tonight, and it will lead to depression. Then I'll start getting angry about the dad thing, so it's probably best that I stay here tonight.

Sitting here with my mom's friend/roommate, Sheila, now. The 360 controller I'm holding there is hers. Mom obviously won't be outdone by me and went to go get some loving herself... She's been texting, taking pics and giggling like a schoolgirl at different points today. Sheila has a very cool job, to me, anyway. She's a "Corpse Beautician", as she puts it. Yep, she's the one that makes your dead friends and relatives look... not so dead. I got a nod to that, so yes. 

She's not some brooding, weird necrophile like a lot of people stereotype those that handle the dead to be. Although, she's been telling me about some people she's worked with that are/were like that. She's awesome!

Got a couple pics of my lovely Lacey I'd like to share. She took these in her first week at her job.

 She doesn't age! :3 

Rei~

pure HATE...

I touched on this while texting with darling earlier. I also woke Lacey up and she is currently rubbing my back trying to help me calm down... I had to do this, its been eating at me like cancer. I called my "father" and blew up. He barely got a word in edgewise. I was crying before I called and it didn't stop.

Him: Hello? (I woke him up)

Me: You're going to fucking listen to me...

Him: Who is this?

Me: Your mistake from 31 years ago. The junkie dyke that gave you a grandson.

Him: Oh, Jesus... I don't wanna do this right now.

Me: If you hang up, I'll call back. Just for once, fucking listen.

Him: Rach...

Me: How fucking dare you do that to my mother. How fucking DARE YOU keep in contact with that piece of pig shit that ran away with your goddamn grandson AGAIN! You sat in that fucking courtroom and held my hand and LIED to my shivering face saying that you'd fight it! You DID NOTHING! Did you keep in contact with him that whole time, too?!

Him: No...

Me: I don't want excuses and lies, you're lower than he is. I'm your fucking blood. You love him more than the son you had. Do you even care that his birthday is in nine days?

Him: You're really fucking pushing it, you little bitch. You've got no right...

Me: I'm going to tell you my email address and you're going to give me contact information for my baby. If I don't have it in two days, I'm going to be there to drown you in your own shit and then I will take it. You will not make my child feel abandoned
and not cared about the way you did to me. I will probably never see him again and I've no desire to hurt him any further than I have. I just want to say sorry to him for fucking his life up and wish him a happy birthday. Is that so much to ask?! I'll even do you one better, have him call me. Go back to sleep now and do this one last thing for me, then you can wipe me from your memory completely. PIG!

Then I had a mini breakdown/psychotic rage and started throwing things, fell to my knees and shook and cried.

Rei~

The Evil Naomi

She's a sweet little doll during the day. But cuts off small body parts (ears, toes, nipples, etc.) while you sleep. That's what I told Lacey, anyway...

Rei~

Random pics n stuph...

Rei~

Stalking around...

Little sleep, lots of caffeine and pissed at the world in a non-emo kinda way... Religion must go. The Buddhists and Pagans can stay because they don't torment and kill people that don't share their beliefs. "Agree with me or I'll hurt you. How very Christian." - Brian Griffin

Tired of the fucking media fear machine. Oh noes! EBOLA?! Run and hide white America! There were what, 3-4 cases in the US? Yet, programming was interrupted daily because of some possible infection at a hospital or doctors office. Then we get press conferences from born again doctors that claim god saved them. The little black kids in Africa must not have prayed hard enough...

Did you ever notice that the most devout Christians are the impoverished, the diseased and the insane? Yet their salvation never comes. God was too busy helping some overpaid athlete win a sporting event.

Done talking. Here's me stalking around with no makeup on and my messy hair that I need to wash today...

Rei~

She blows my mind...

Yeah, there's THAT, but I'm going to hop off the sex train for a few and share some deep thoughts with you.

Lacey is over 8 1/2 years younger than myself. She's 23 and I'm 31. It's not something that causes issues in our relationship, we joke about it more than anything... I don't consider myself old or out of touch by any means. But we're from two different worlds when you think about it.

I was born far enough back to know (to a degree) the world before all of this. No social media, my dad had a cell phone, but it was lightyears behind what exists today, none of these things that we take for granted were a large part of my childhood. It's different for her.

She was born in 1992, think about that. By age five, kindergarten for most, the internet was starting to change the world. She is part of the internet generation. I don't consider it a bad thing, and no, she's not crippled without her devices. She can do a lot of her job with pen and paper. She even knows that secretary shorthand chicken scratch... eh heh.

It's just amazing to me to think that she never really used a VCR, audio cassettes, and had the entire encyclopedia on a fucking CD-ROM! XD She's a huge gamer and obviously, through emulators and downloads from the console stores (!!!!) she's played a lot of the oldies, but remember the mounds of cartridges? Blowing on NES cartridges? XD Her first console that was truly her own was the Wii... o.o;

Just to get sidetracked for a moment... People like to tease her about her age and the old games. One that sticks out was some troll that told her she wasn't around when the classics like Mario, Castlevania, etc. first came out, so how could she possibly understand their historic value and nostalgia? I've seen this before, myself. It's usually people in/around my age group. You know what I say? You were eating glitter and paste while leaving skidmarks on your underroos back then. You couldn't fucking read, let alone fully understand the plots of games like the first Final Fantasy or Dragon Quest, shithead... Ahem!

So yeah, it's a unique thing we have going here. Again, this is in no way a knock on her or anyone younger than me. I would have loved to have had the world at my fingertips growing up. Just part of what makes her so special to me. *Kisses her sleeping beauty* :3

Does anyone else find it weird as to how prophetic the fiction of the 70s, 80s, and early 90s has become? We're not overrun by evil robots, no supercomputer triggered a nuclear holocaust, but technology has taken over the world. TV has rotted our brains and turned us into zombies. No? Look how many people flock to every premium series that comes out. The fact that there are billions of hours stored on DVRs and hard drives and that you can watch it on a cell phone while you're on the toilet? Still waiting on those blasted flying cars, though...

 Need to pee now... *SQUEEZE!!!!!*

Rei~

While mommy cooks...

Sitting here with Lacey and this dude my mom is banging, shoving pretzel sticks in my face by the handful... :3 Her roommate is cool, too, but she had places to be. My mom's boytoy is so uncomfortable around Lacey and I. My hand started creeping up her leg, then her skirt and I kissed her. This dude didn't know what the fuck to do! XD

He's definitely cute, but... I dunno, he's kind of a lunkhead doofus. She says she's happy and she's thinking about moving in with him and shit, I told her to really think about it. Maybe it's just that I haven't been around him, but I don't see the connection. He works out and so does she? He's gotta be fucking her good, because she's very relaxed and in a great mood. Whatever. She's a big girl and she's got him wrapped around her little finger. I'm writing all of this and Lacey is the only one who can see... hehe. Watch basketball, fucker, pay no attention to the lesbos on the iphone...

Took a few pictures today and here ye be:

This is Toast! He's on my lap here, letting me put my coffee mug on his head. He is an absolute ball of pure love! He has taken a real shine to me already! :3 Wonder if he'll fit in my coat...

JULIET! She totally remembers her mommy! She ran right to me and brushed up against my legs. Then she made a little meow and I almost fucking cried... :3 I don't know if I can take her away from Toast, though. Weekend visitation, most likely. It's more than I get with my human kid...

Me on a little rug my mom made for the kitties.

Closeup of kittie rug. 

Mom made me Snoopy socks and gave me some leggings. :3

All for now, almost time for grub! 

Rei~

Back home and sexed to the max... :3

Apparently, I have been missed... Miss Lacey has been saving herself for my return, so to speak. After I'd been in the house long enough to get settled, she popped out of our room in a sexy little number and was all over me. :3 I missed her, too, and I think I proved it. ^^;

It has been quite the day, to say the very least. I'm fully clothed for the first time since about noon. eh heh... I'm feeling sooo much better now! Not just from the sex, but the pneumonia is just about entirely gone now. I've got a little bit of a cough and some stuffiness, but it's all gone otherwise.

Just gonna take it (sl)easy this weekend and polish off the rest of the cough syrup I've got and whatever else needs to be done to rid myself of this curse...

Gonna pull a Lacey and show you my nails. Not quite as intricate as she does, but I like them...

Gold and red on the ring finger to symbolize my love and heart. Used her polish for that. My nails aren't hooker length like usual. (Do I have to spell it out?!) The last few times I used my hand on Rob, I hurt his pride... :O Can't do that to my beautiful angel... :3 

Rei~

Saturday...

That's when I'll be going home. I had a very nice surprise visit from my beautiful fiancee today! That was definitely the highlight of being here, there are very few. Not much to say tonight, I've had far too much time sit/lie here and think and it has stirred up some depression... *Sigh*

The new introduction/profile/whatever is a very beautiful LAI song that resonates strongly with me. Kept it in the original Deutsch for a reason...

More tomorrow, mom has to get going.

Rei~

Quick update...

So it's that time of day where I tell you whats been going on in my life and well, I got nothin'. I'm most likely going home Saturday or Sunday, which seems like an eternity in hospital years. I've spent my day watching stupid fucking daytime TV and sleeping. Lacey called me this morning, but I couldn't talk long because they were setting up a nebulizer treatment.

The cough is on the decline, as is the shit in my lungs. That just begs the question, why didn't they just do this last week?! They even sent in a psychiatrist to do a little therapy session with me, which was thoughtful, I guess. Not much else. Looking forward to Lacey's call tonight and then we'll do it all over again tomorrow.

Oh, and my mom's new guy is 36... This new her just keeps getting better. :3

Rei~

Scabs, guns and peanut butter...

Yeah, I don't know... Just always liked that song title. XD There's not really much going on with me today. I've been given several different breathing tests, had blood taken, different IV meds and it's still pneumonia. *shrug* According to Lacey, when I fell last night, I was doing some sort of cough/gasp thing that really freaked her out, hence her calling the ambulance.

I'm not leaving here until they're sure this is subsiding. I can't keep doing this to her and I'm rather sick of it myself. I think my doctor here is pretty much on the same wavelength, so that's good. I will be getting daily visits from my mom so I can post here as long as I'm awake. I really, really want Lacey to get rest and relaxation because she's gonna break down if she doesn't.


Time to get ready for hospital slop. Wheeeeeeee!!! Have a nice night, all of you! :3

Rei~

Just waiting...

For a bed to open up... Went for another ambulance ride a little after midnight. Woke up in a horrible choking fit and went for the cough medicine. When I was on my feet, severe hacking ensued, then I felt incredibly dizzy and fell down. Not sure of a lot of what followed, just remember waking up here with Lacey holding my hand.

Mom is here now, too, but they'll be going once I'm in a room. They've got me on oxygen, IV antibiotics, and they put a little morphine in as well. Will update you all as soon as possible. If for some reason I can't physically do it, clicky here for updates. In the best place to be for a person in this condition, so don't worry too much.

Rei~

Health update...

So Lacey was nice enough to take me to my Dr. appointment this morning. I felt kind of bad, as she was losing money by not being at work and then the doc was running late... It was a fairly quick appointment. He skimmed over the 35 pounds of paper from the hospital and listened to my lungs, asked me how/if the meds were working, etc.

He seemed pleased with my progress thus far and then he asked me about my pain. He'd seen the Percocet and Valium on the med list from the hospital and I've mentioned it before. I'm now on a pain contract, similar to what I had in NH. I'm getting the 10s and the Valium regularly as of today.

He told me that I should be good with the meds that the hospital gave me, but if I needed anything to just call and they'd write them up without me having to make another appointment. So, all in all, I'm on the mend and I've just gotta keep doing what I've been doing.

Nap time!

Mommy's got a boyfriend! XD

So my darling mother came to visit us yesterday afternoon and it was a nice time. She brought me my little girl, Ophelia, and had a sketch of what my wedding gown will look like! We had a nice time for the couple hours she was here, but she had to go because she had a date last night.

Apparently this was not their first date as she told me I might have a step dad if things kept going so well... I'm so happy for her and if it does indeed come to that, you'd be wise to shower me with gifts, Mr. man whose name I don't know. I'll put in a good word for you. The happier you keep me, the happier she'll keep you. ;)