Adventures in Retardia...

So I told darling about a little "friend" I had some years ago back home. Those of you who remember the early days of my old blog may remember it. That is just the tip of the iceberg, though... You see, my mom is a special education teacher, that's what she did for years and years before The Walrus broke her. She worked at a school just for these clowns of nature. Me being me, there were many times when she took me to work with her. It wasn't by choice, that's for damn sure. She knew about TP Syrupgate and was less than thrilled... No, I went with her because she didn't trust me to be home alone. Whether it be that I was having a bad mental spell, coming off dope or whatever, she should've just left me there...XD

I went one time in 2007 while I was getting over losing Timothy. I was supposed to stay in the teachers lounge and just watch TV or play GBA or whatever, no tard interactions allowed. (For clarity, the incident I've spoken about was in 2004) Well, there is no smoking in that building and I needed one, so I went outside and it just so happened that it was recess time in Retardia. (Yes, they have that) I like to play outside, too, ya know!

I went over to the playground and walked around a bit. They're an unsettling bunch, I'll tell you. All those warped, partially functioning minds slowly cranking behind their creepy eyes, it's a bit unnerving. I broke away from the main pack and came across two  twenty-somethings (It's hard to tell, really) who were sitting on a planter. One was male, the other female, I found out that they were a couple. I was curious as to what a retarded couple was like, so I started asking questions.

I found out that they were like any other couple, going on dates and stuff. However, they had not had sex yet. No time like the present! I answered their questions about sex in graphic detail, getting giggles and "Ew! Gross!" to every other thing I said. Then I proposed that they just do it.

They wouldn't go for it at first, they didn't wanna get in trouble and God wanted them to wait for marriage. *Eyeroll* I told them no one would see if they went in the bushes and that God wouldn't be mad as long as they didn't get totally naked. Stupid, but they bought it. They went into the woods and I followed a bit to make sure they actually were gonna do it. I heard giggling and some unintelligible talk, but then there were those lovely sucking sounds and the unmistakeable cries of a girl's lost virginity.

I distanced myself from them and ran to the aid or whoever she was and said "Those two went into the woods! Don't you pay attention?!" She ran over and found them, I'm assuming they were finished. Three more teachers/aids dragged them out, still partially unclothed and they were getting the third degree.

 I was later approached by the aid I'd alerted and they'd snitched me out. I told her that I didn't TELL them to do anything, that they kept asking things because they really wanted to do it.

Aid: What did you tell them?

Me: Nothing specific, I tried to be vague!

Aid: Okay. I'd better not find out you're lying.

Me: Wait. They were actually doing it?!

Aid: Yes.

Me: Did they use protection?

Aid: Oh god...

*Smirk*

Rei~