Sorry, peoples, I gotta vent. If you read the old blog, then you know my ex/kid's father is with and fathered another child with someone else. I'm hurt, to say the very least. I'm now going to tell you things that I've never written or told a soul about.
I fulfilled this man's every fucking sexual fantasy and desire. There was not a level of depravity I would not stoop to in order to keep him happy and by my side. Costumes, lingerie, toys, bondage, whatever the fuck he dreamed up, I did it to the best of my ability.
I offered him another child, he didn't want one. I was willing to go through that fucking hell again and he turned me down several times. I think I've mentioned my weight fluctuations before, and he couldn't fucking stand it. The verbal abuse and threats to leave me if I didn't lose it had me a paranoid mess of nerves every time I had extra weight on me. I'd go days without food and I'd make him whatever he wanted and even though he'd tell me to eat, I wouldn't...
There was a lot of fighting, especially when the drugs pretty much became what I was living for. When it got really bad, he'd threaten to call the cops on me and tell them that my parental rights had been terminated and that I wasn't supposed to be around our son.
I'm not saying that all of it was bad, it wasn't. I wouldn't trade the happy times for anything in the world. I just wonder if he gets this new girl so stoned that she can't consent and, essentially, rapes her while she barely knows where she is... Oops...
~A~
I have... things to say.
ReplyDeleteFirst: that scum NEVER deserved you. I slummed it for a few years myself, so I can empathize with the whole Sleeping With Someone Awful deal, and they didn't deserve me, either.
Second: HE gave YOU crap about your weight?! While he himself was a giant mountain of blubber? I do not have words for the hypocrisy there... Good fucking god. I'm amazed he could even find his cock, much less use it.
Third: NO TEETH. I told Patrick that and he just stared at me, and then wanted to know why on earth you were with him. I was like, "Love?" Then when he fucked off and went down to bang that other chick, Patrick and I both went on a simultaneous tirade about how the fuck that toothless Jabba the Hutt could manage to keep impregnating people. HOW. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN. I was forever amazed that you were with him, given that you are beautiful and he is so far from it that he probably scares horses on a bad day.
Fourth: He threatened you.... wow. I just... What a fucking piece of shit. Reminds me of my ex husband, who threatened to post naked pictures of me on the internet if I didn't behave the way he wanted. And torturing you by threatening to take your baby away from you? That is beyond despicable.
Fifth: I am glad that you were somehow able to dredge some good times out of the slimepit that was cohabitating with that fuckface. I really and truly am. I wish you only happiness, as you well know. And now I hope so much that you're able to find someone good who cares for you and will treat you with the love and respect you absolutely deserve.
*hug*
I feel so stupid for going back in the first place... I jusf wanted to be with Timothy again. That's why I endured it all, I didn't want my baby to forget me. That worked well, didn't it? eh heh... I don't know, darling. It must be something in the female genetic code... So many of us end up with these pieces of trash, bearing their children, etc. I suppose it's up to us to hopefully learn from our mistakes. You don't know how happy I am that you landed one of the good ones! :3 Hopefully whoever I end up with next will be one of the good ones, too. Thank you so much for the love and support. :3 *hugs*
ReplyDelete~A~