I'm sorry that I haven't been around much lately, I'm sure you know why. I'm a prisoner in my own home. Not because of anything anyone is doing to me, but because my body will not allow me to leave. Crystal went grocery shopping today and I heard her pull in. I was on the couch and got up to help her, as did MJ. She pulled into the garage and I was able to bring in a couple bags before my body began to hurt so bad that I felt collapse approaching and got nauseous. I hurried back to the couch where I layed down, ate pills and waited for the worst of it to pass.
A 3 year old was able to bring in more groceries than I could. Crystal left him with me while she went and had to instruct him to behave and just watch TV or play with his toys because "Auntie Rei didn't feel good." She took a little longer than expected and I made him lunch, just a little Kid Cuisine thing that goes in the microwave. It takes about 3 minutes to cook, so I just leaned against the counter and I ended up nearly in tears after giving it to him. Thank god he's no longer in diapers...
My life lately has consisted of video games, watching wrestling, taking pills and eating, lots of eating. I think it's the drugs making me so hungry, but I'm not going to the bathroom much... I've pooped maybe six times since Sunday and while I'm peeing pretty regularly, the stream is inconsistent or there's just not a lot coming out. I know opiates can block you up, but I don't think its ever been this bad.
I've been taking lots of Vicodin, my doctor wrote me a script to take more frequently that Lace picked up and got filled for me. He only did it because I'm going to see the orthopedist tomorrow. Along with that, Lace has been giving me Soma, I have Valium, a little Neurontin, and Janice gave me what she had left for morphine from a knee replacement she had. It's expired but it still works and I've been using it sparingly because there's not a lot. Don't worry, I haven't been taking all of that at the same time or in massive doses. I'm gonna need that morphine for the ride to and from the doctors tomorrow.
I feel so useless lately. Lace works all day and then has to come home and do everything for me. I feel more like her patient than her wife. I know she doesn't mind and that she loves me, but I think everyone likes their independence and would feel the same. She had to take a shower with me tonight and help wash me and hold onto me to make sure I didn't fall down. I know, two hot girls in the shower... There wasn't anything sexy or erotic about it. Sex is almost nonexistent right now and I feel horrible about it. We usually fuck just about every night and I just have no sex drive right now. *Sigh*
Video games are my biggest escape right now. Lace rearranged our whole entertainment center in the bedroom so I'd have easier access to things when she's not here. I have the Wii U and the PS3 in here and I've been playing the shit out of both. She got me Tekken Tag Tournament 2 and Hyrule Warriors for Wii U and Mortal Kombat X for PS4 for when I'm in the living room. I'm still working on Bloodborne on PS4, too, but that game is insanely fucking hard... I ordered a Playstation Vita yesterday, too. I may need to go to video game rehab soon... Eh heh.
As I said, doctors appointment tomorrow, but nothing is gonna change right away. Surgery is probably my only hope at this point and recovery will make this seem like a walk in the park. While we were in the shower, Lace noticed that my back is insanely swollen right in the center (lower spine) above my tail bone. Kinda worried about that...
Back to Hyrule, darlings.
Rei~
Damn it, I responded to your comment on my blog without thinking that you can't currently belly dance. Sorry, darling. :( I didn't mean to be insensitive or forgetful. It's this fucking lack of sleep. I'm so sorry you're still in so much pain, and they had better fucking help you! God, I can only imagine. I love you, and I love Lace for being an angel. I hope surgery helps fix everything and that it's easy. *kisses and hugs*
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