I'm really trying to take it easy today because yesterday was so hard. I'm trying very hard not to think about everything that can go wrong with the surgery and instead attempting to focus on how much better my life will be afterward. Lace is being a tremendous help with this, as she has been with every other aspect of this whole ordeal.
The panic attacks and severe pain yesterday started after the visiting nurse left the first time and I just called and told her I needed the rest of the day to myself. It's really hard not to worry about this surgery. Not to lessen them, every surgery poses risks, but this is so much different than tonsils or a gallbladder or anything, they are going to be working in an area full of nerves, on the very thing that keeps us upright. You would be scared shitless if you had to sign and read the wavers I did.
The surgery will be long and I fully trust the doctor, there's just that "what if" being placed on an already unstable mind with a diagnosed anxiety disorder. Lacey will be accompanying me to the hospital in the morning, along with my mom and then she'll be going to work. Before anyone gets up in arms about that, it's a LONG PROCEDURE barring any unforeseen complications. She's not the most calm person to begin with and I'd much rather have her mind occupied than stewing around for hours worrying.
I'm going to be so fucking drugged when I come out that I most likely won't realize who's there anyway. I will be spending at least two nights in the hospital and then whether I need to go to a rehabilitation facility will be determined.
Lacey will be emailing and/or texting everyone who needs or wants to know when there is information available. I'm off to spend the rest of today with her now. We're gonna order something for dinner and then whatever else after. Yes, there will be fucking! :3 I'll be back posting as soon as humanly possible, don't you worry! The internet has as much chance of getting rid of me as it does of porn.
Love and hugs to all!
Rei~
The panic attacks and severe pain yesterday started after the visiting nurse left the first time and I just called and told her I needed the rest of the day to myself. It's really hard not to worry about this surgery. Not to lessen them, every surgery poses risks, but this is so much different than tonsils or a gallbladder or anything, they are going to be working in an area full of nerves, on the very thing that keeps us upright. You would be scared shitless if you had to sign and read the wavers I did.
The surgery will be long and I fully trust the doctor, there's just that "what if" being placed on an already unstable mind with a diagnosed anxiety disorder. Lacey will be accompanying me to the hospital in the morning, along with my mom and then she'll be going to work. Before anyone gets up in arms about that, it's a LONG PROCEDURE barring any unforeseen complications. She's not the most calm person to begin with and I'd much rather have her mind occupied than stewing around for hours worrying.
I'm going to be so fucking drugged when I come out that I most likely won't realize who's there anyway. I will be spending at least two nights in the hospital and then whether I need to go to a rehabilitation facility will be determined.
Lacey will be emailing and/or texting everyone who needs or wants to know when there is information available. I'm off to spend the rest of today with her now. We're gonna order something for dinner and then whatever else after. Yes, there will be fucking! :3 I'll be back posting as soon as humanly possible, don't you worry! The internet has as much chance of getting rid of me as it does of porn.
Love and hugs to all!
Rei~
I love you, and I hope so very much that there are no complications with your surgery. From what I've heard, your doctor seems very competent and all should go well. I don't blame you for being nervous. I would too! Thank you for keeping me in the loop, and I will be waiting to hear any word about how you are doing. ❤️
ReplyDeleteI promise I will do all that I can to update everyone! I've got my fingers crossed for you, sweetie! Love you always! XOXO ♥♥♥
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