I touched on this while texting with darling earlier. I also woke Lacey up and she is currently rubbing my back trying to help me calm down... I had to do this, its been eating at me like cancer. I called my "father" and blew up. He barely got a word in edgewise. I was crying before I called and it didn't stop.
Him: Hello? (I woke him up)
Me: You're going to fucking listen to me...
Him: Who is this?
Me: Your mistake from 31 years ago. The junkie dyke that gave you a grandson.
Him: Oh, Jesus... I don't wanna do this right now.
Me: If you hang up, I'll call back. Just for once, fucking listen.
Him: Rach...
Me: How fucking dare you do that to my mother. How fucking DARE YOU keep in contact with that piece of pig shit that ran away with your goddamn grandson AGAIN! You sat in that fucking courtroom and held my hand and LIED to my shivering face saying that you'd fight it! You DID NOTHING! Did you keep in contact with him that whole time, too?!
Him: No...
Me: I don't want excuses and lies, you're lower than he is. I'm your fucking blood. You love him more than the son you had. Do you even care that his birthday is in nine days?
Him: You're really fucking pushing it, you little bitch. You've got no right...
Me: I'm going to tell you my email address and you're going to give me contact information for my baby. If I don't have it in two days, I'm going to be there to drown you in your own shit and then I will take it. You will not make my child feel abandoned
and not cared about the way you did to me. I will probably never see him again and I've no desire to hurt him any further than I have. I just want to say sorry to him for fucking his life up and wish him a happy birthday. Is that so much to ask?! I'll even do you one better, have him call me. Go back to sleep now and do this one last thing for me, then you can wipe me from your memory completely. PIG!
Then I had a mini breakdown/psychotic rage and started throwing things, fell to my knees and shook and cried.
Rei~
Just putting this here to let people know that Rei will be spending the day at her mom's house today. She is incredibly distraught over this and it's for her safety. I've gotta get her and myself ready, will update you from work.
ReplyDeleteDarling, I love you dearly and worry about you. I hope you're as well as can be expected at your mom's house. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I can only imagine how excruciatingly painful this is for you. *hugs you tightly* As I said on Lacey's blog, I wish so much that I could be there to help in some way, but that I am incredibly grateful to her for everything she does. Feel free to text me at any time. I will respond as soon as I can. Thinking of you, dearest. <3
ReplyDeleteI love and cherish you both... :3 There are four people I love in this world. (This is in no particular order.) Timothy, My mom, Lacey and Darling. I don't need anyone else. That would be an interesting desert island scenario...
ReplyDeleteLove to you all!
Rei~