Pain and Rain

Yesterday was so awesome and I'm so excited that my baby is gonna be coming to stay for a week! I really had no idea that Rob was gonna do that and on his birthday, no less. If he were coming this week, it wouldn't be much fun. It is pouring here and will be for at least the next two days. We need the rain and the cooler temperatures are welcome, but it's too much too fast and this whole portion of the state will be dealing with flash flooding.

My mom is coming to get Laceybug in the morning where she has the big SUV, provided that Janice doesn't just tell everyone to stay home. It's kinda weird; I've seen some crazy fucking weather over the years, heard about people getting stranded on flooded roads, but I've never been in that situation myself. I'm glad my mom is willing to do this, because I'm not in a good way right now.

My body is experiencing another one of those pain attacks that can last a month at a time. I've been getting them more frequently than ever and while they don't last as long, the intensity is ramping up. I can't sit up or stand for very long and it's so bad this time that I can barely walk. My legs turn to jello and shake and the pain is unbearable... I'm drugged to the point where I'm not feeling the pain, but my body is responding with stiffness, spasms and it's like it's achy, but I just can't feel the actual pain. It's hard to explain... *Sigh*

Lace and Crystal are so wonderful, they've been doing everything for me today, even helping me to the bathroom. :3 This started earlier this afternoon when I was in the basement starting work on some golden instrument of magical awesomeness for some crazy lady I know... Hehe... :3 I'll get back to it ASAP. I made it halfway up the stairs before I had to call for help. Crumb was first on the scene and I told him to go get mommy, but he just cocked his head, made a whiny noise and walked off. "LACE!!!!" XD

Some good news in all this crap, though. Lace and I will be going to Japan for our honeymoon. Yes. ^^

Speaking of Usagi, I found a picture that I think represents her a lot of the time...

Gamer Bunny Girl! :3 She is at her sexiest when she's gaming... Hehe 

Praise Kim Jong Uhn for the invention of portable, touch screen computers! Without them, I wouldn't be doing this right now. XD

Rei~

Happy Birthday!

To mah baby daddy, Rob! I hope you have a lovely day today! We've been continuing to try and keep things civil and while it hasn't gone entirely smooth so far, it's a start and we're on better terms than we've been in a long time. It's approaching 11 years since we met... You're getting old, fucker! XD I'm still the spring flower I was when you met me! Happy Bahsuday! Hug my baby for me! :3

Rei~

Hamster Anarchy

 Yes, it is so very deep and artistic... XD You wouldn't believe the looks I get or how this thing just mindfucks everyone who sees it. It was just going out for iced coffee and picking up a bit of food at the market, but it became so much more! Hehe!

Dunkin Donuts:

Lace and I go out for a coffee at least every other day and today was no different. We went and while it is cooler than it has been, I didn't have the hood on in the car. No traffic accidents, thankfully! We got there and it wasn't crazy busy like when I take her to work, but there were 8 people or so in line plus the employees. EVERY PERSON THERE looked at me at the same time! XD "Hi...^^;" Some little boy was like "That's the coolest thing ever!" Shows you where MY demographic stands! XD Some people shook their heads, others just looked the one time, but some dude was trying to throw away his straw wrapper and his breakfast went in instead... He could've been staring at Lacey's melons, who knows. Usagi-chan needs no hamster costume!

I was actually surprised that Lacey seemed to be enjoying all of this so much...

Supermarket:

I'm not gonna go into everything that happened (nothing bad, just too much to type out) but here's the digest version... There were two shopping cart collisions because people weren't paying attention to what they were doing. Another cart ended up hitting a soda display, thankfully there were no Mentos in the vicinity... Two little girls were enamored with the both of us and had 2,000 questions. I think their mom or whoever she was was getting a little frustrated because we kept talking to them and didn't tell them to listen to her. We weren't buying much, but we got a shopping cart anyway and I rode on the back for two aisles. Yes, mom is very proud. >.> I'm really surprised I wasn't asked to leave! XD 

I still have it on and Crumb is just all sorts of confused, MJ loves it, Crystal keeps laughing and I think Lace is cooking up some sex game for tonight or something... :3 It zips up the front and she's unzipped me to my boobies a couple times. This is my legacy, peoples. When the world is a nuclear wasteland, someone is gonna find security footage of some psycho in a hamster costume riding on a shopping cart... 

Rei~

Hora - TRANSONICA

OIIII!!!!! Ohayo gozaimasu! Genki desuka?!



This song is my wake up/get motivated/happy song! It's so bouncy and just...irresistable! :D



Rei~

Hora - Frozen Past

Music & Lyrics by: Hora

Support Vocals: Experiment 0513



Lyrics:





Gazing into your cold eyes what will be reflecting there?

Reaching the end of uncertainty, what will you find there?



tsumetai hitomi ni nani o utsuru no

mayoi no hate ni nani o mitsukeru no



The dreams deep within you heart will bloom

And become a clear sung melody



kokoro no yume ni saku

tashika na senritsu ni



Fly into the sky, in your eternity

Though you had once been confined to this reality



maiagaru towa no kimi

tojikomete ita genjitsu ni



I had searched for you, my eternity

Try to understand the night we were tied



sagashiteta towa no kimi

tsunagarete ita yo o toite



Already I'd forgotten how you looked from those days

But certainly I heard your footsteps; the memory won't fade



wasure-kaketeta ano hibi no sugata

tashika ni kikoeta kimi no ashioto



The dreams deep within you heart will bloom

And become a clear sung melody



kokoro no yume ni saku

tashika na senritsu ni



Fly into the sky, in your eternity

Though you had once been confined to this reality



maiagaru towa no kimi

tojikomete ita genjitsu







I wish I could find the Kaya version from another cell, he put this song over the top. The lyrics can be applied to so many people and different relationships, I think it breaks a lot of boundaries that way. I did a vocal cover of INNER UNIVERSE from this EP and there's one that's not as good as this (no instrumental track to work with) and was lost not long after I recorded it in 2005. Anyway, enjoy! :3



Rei~

For white girls that wanna look like Japanese girls who wanna look like white girls...

There is Gyaru. I've just sorta done this look over the years without talking about it very much. Gyaru "Gal" in Nihonglish is a style that has been around for many, many years now. Gyaru's are kinda the valley girls of Japan. They're sort of uppity, materialistic and not always bright. I watched a clip in which they took a bunch of Gyaru's phones away (you DON'T do that!) and made them perform...certain "acts" on some nice young men to get them back. Nobody does reality competition like those wacky Japanese! XD

But Jesus do they LOOK fantastic! And that is why I do this look. Not that I haven't done things for stupid shit, but... Anyway, the whole point of the look is for Japanese girls to look western and exotic. Many Japanese women see themselves as all looking the same and this is a way to stand out and be more desirable. The look is more about hair and makeup than clothing.

Whether they dye and style it or opt for wigs (usually the ones sporting really long hair are wigged) the brunette curly/straight combo is the signature. Some do blonde, but brunette seems to be most preferred. Hair decorations like usamimi (bunny ears), barrettes/clips and flowers are common, too. The makeup is key, though. Obviously, I don't have the skintone to use exactly what they do over there. The point is to make your skin darker, but a lot of them overdue it and venture into that dangerous Ganguro territory. Me personally, I usually either just do my regular facial regimen or go completely into that doll territory. But it's EYELASHES, ladies! They have eyelashes for days! Falsies are a must and western girls don't need to go crazy making their eyes look more round, but a good smokey eye is your friend.

Like I said, clothing is sorta secondary, but you can do this with Lolita/EGL and look more amazing. Otherwise, anything goes, but a miniskirt or short dress would probably be most authentic.

I did this look on an almost daily basis from the latter half of 2010 through a good bit of 2011. I never really stopped and when I'm not Rainbow Hime, Miku or whatever, I usually do my makeup this way and my hair has been brunette most of the last year plus. Sort of "Everyday Gyaru", you could say. Below is a sampling of pics in no particular oder...

Rei~

We can't win.

As I've said before, I'm no feminist or crusader for women's rights. However, there are endless double standards and stereotypes that a lot of people may not have given much thought to. Here are some:

If we fuck you and don't want you, we're sluts and whores

If we don't fuck you, we're stuck up cunts that need to loosen up.

Wearing a completely shear dress or top is fashionable.

A breast/nipple bared in public, or god forbid, used for its intended purpose, is the downfall of western civilization.

If we're fat, we need to lose weight.

Once said weight is lost, we've got an eating disorder.

If you pursue us after a breakup, you're in touch with your feelings and you care.

If we pursue you, we're psychotic and you get in touch with 911.

Strong women (notably athletes) are scary dykes.

Strong men are heroes.

Anything a man can do, so too can a woman.

They just make the female version wimpier looking and if not, we cheated, fucked our way there or you let us do it.

There are so very many more. And penis bearers, you are not all this way and not entirely to blame for its continuance in society. Too many of us LET IT HAPPEN or play right into it.

Rei~

Thank fucking lord...

So those of you not from MA may not have heard, but there was a massive water main break along a pipe running from Silver Lake to Brockton (where we were living) and the actual break occurred in my hometown of East Bridgewater. I'm not sure if my childhood home has been affected, but it's a good thing Walrus's can swim. Or so I would hope. We're fine here, none of the boil water ordinances, loss of water or the state of emergency are of concern. (We're in Halifax)

If we'd remained in Brockton, there's a chance we'd be living with our poop for a little bit and I've read that some of the water there is coming out of faucets looking black... Ugh. This is what happens when states put no money into infrastructure. That pipe was about a hundred years old. I don't know what it's gonna take for these people here or across the country to wake up and fix this ancient shit. That they just cross their fingers and hope things don't break is terrifying. Go look up your local bridges, roads, water systems, etc and when they were built. It's a nightmare.

Rei~

Lacey has surgery/I HAD A DREAM

Two part post.

Lacey had an emergency appendectomy last night. She'd started having an insane amount of abdominal pain on Saturday night that kept her up most of the night. She didn't have much sleep as the waves of intense pain just woke her up every time she made it that far. It continued through yesterday and yesterday evening until I convinced her we needed to go get it checked out at the ER.

So glad we went. That was too much pain to just suddenly come on like that, her appendix was ruptured and they got her an operating room ASAP. I've never seen her so scared as she was waiting for them to come get her, she's never had surgery before and the thought has been a fear of hers for a long time. I held her hand until they made me let go and then I texted darling for the few hours that it lasted. She kept ME calm and kept my mind off of it, for which I'm eternally grateful. :3

She was pretty groggy when I first saw her, but the anesthesia had worn off enough that she could talk coherently. No complications, everything went fine and she just had to eat one of their bland turkey sandwiches. (Does it get old being right all the time, darling?) I think it was maybe about 2 1/2 hours later that they let her go home.

They gave her a small script for Percocet for any remaining pain/soreness, which I've filled for her and CAN'T take on her, not that I would. When we got home, she was pretty awake for an hour or so, but then she crashed as did I. That brings me to part 2.

Darling is the dream blogger, I'm not trying to steal that from her. I don't have quite the dreams she does and how she remembers them in the detail she does baffles me. I've had vivid, memorable dreams before, some of which remain with me (in smaller pieces) to this day. This one is fresh in my mind, so here we go...

I was back at the hotel and I was starting the day. Lace and I were running late for some reason or other. I'm not sure why, but Lace had apparently started working not far from home and she'd missed the bus. We were in a hurry to make it out in time for the next one. When we got outside, it was raining but there was a lot of snow on the ground and it was a mess outside. The city looked different, but not in a bad way, it was quite pretty. For some reason, there was a lot of chaos, though.

People seemed to be running around everywhere, late like we were. There were traffic jams, construction and the buses were all running strange, alternate routes because of it. We found a stop for ours just as it was approaching, got on, all was good.

Next thing I knew, I was on a bus heading home with a couple shopping bags and talking to some weird old lady. We got off a short time later and she just went her way, not quite sure where she was going. As I was crossing the street, I noticed a house on the corner and it was surrounded by people having a party. I had to cross and pass by to get home and as I did so, then some drunk/high party girl started asking me for money, acting like we knew each other. I brushed her and the rest of them off and just walked on. Then two really mean looking guys were just staring at me as I passed them. I was almost home, so fuck them.

I was grabbed from behind and placed in a chokehold, whichever one it was was strong because the next thing I knew, I was on the ground and being yelled at, then I felt it. A gun to the back of my head. No robbery, rape or anything took place, just "You're fucking dead, bitch" and I didn't even hear the shot. I felt the heat, the slug enter my head, blood gushing out and my eyes closed

What happened next is hard to explain. My eyes opened back up, but I was in the dreamworld. My hand went to the back of my head and I felt nothing, then my bedroom was just there. I was in my bed, here with Lace and it was reality once more, my hand still on the back of my head where the bullet had gone. I shot out of bed, my heart was absolutely fucking racing. I took three Valium and my blood pressure pill that also regulates my pulse. Then I fucking chain-smoked two cigarettes and somehow fell back to sleep until Lace woke me up needing a drink and a pill.

Rei~

Marilyn Manson - Long Hard Road Out Of Hell

Lyrics:



I wanna fly into the sun

Need faith to make me numb

Live like a teenage Christ

I'm a saint, got a date with suicide



Mary, Mary

To be this young is oh so scary

Mary, Mary

To be this young, I'm oh so scared

I wanna live, I wanna love

But it's a long hard road out of hell (x2)



You never said forever could ever hurt like this

You never said forever could ever hurt like this



Spin my way out of hell

There's nothing left of this soul to sell

Live fast and die fast too

How many times to do this for you?

How many times to do this for you?





(Repeat chorus)



Sell my soul for anything, anything but you

Sell my soul for anything, anything but you



-------------------------------------------------------



This was released in 97/98 on the soundtrack for the Spawn movie. Manson also used the title for his book. Most of this song, merely taken at face value (no interpretation) resonated so very strongly with me back then and probably even moreso now. This was at the height of his fame and reading that book puts this song into perspective even more. He's a brilliant person with interesting views, but between pandering himself to angsty teenagers and his cocaine addiction hurting his songwriting, I lost interest a long time ago. If you're interested, anything from 94-00 is some really amazing stuff.



Rei~

Unmoved

Maybe I'm turning into one of those old people who just listens to the music they liked when they were younger. Maybe I just can't be satisfied by anything. Maybe I'm tired of investing time and money in bands/artists that just stop making music or that break up and form 30 more bands that break up. (Here's looking at you, Japan...) Maybe all three.

Whatever it is, I've found myself either caring about or enjoying current music a lot less than I used to. And this isn't even just limited to the newest flavor of the month in whatever scene, it's artists that I've cared about and followed passionately for years. Blutengel has released a few things since I fell off the map last year and I think I've listened to 2 or 3 songs one or two times and not gone back. This is true for a lot of my favorite acts.

I can't put a finger on it as to why this is, I just have no desire to go listen to any of it. What I have listened to makes me feel absolutely nothing. Schwarz Stein came back, they're making music full-time again after 10 years, touring the world. I listened to a couple tracks on YouTube... "Eh."

I have no problem going back and listening to old stuff, though. The only thing I can think of is that some part of me is clinging onto my old life. Somewhere in my brain something is telling me not to move on.

I've never been one to change with the times right away. I am a very nostalgic person and tend to gravitate towards things from the past, but this is very out of the ordinary for me.

Rei~

Blutengel - I'm Dying Alone

Lyrics:



Can't you see me falling an endless fall?



Can't you hear me calling a never-ending call?



Can't you see me bleeding?



I'm losing control.



Can't you see me dying?



I'm dying alone.



------------------------------------



This is from Blutengel's 2001 album, Seelenschmerz (Soul Sickness). Your average music snob would tell you that 1999's Child of Glass was their first album, and it was, but I honestly thought it sucked and don't acknowledge it. This album and the songs on it made them a hit on the Euro goth scene almost instantly.



I adore this song. Yes, it's the same 6 lines throughout, but it's done so well! The way it builds, the music, just... :3 I am glad that they got rid of the vocal filters they used on pretty much this whole album and let their actual voices shine through. There is some GORGEOUS goth art/photography in the vid, so danke to whoever made it!



Rei~

This is frightening...

So I usually keep Good Morning America on in the morning, but I haven't really watched any of it lately where it's such a long ride to get Laceybug to work by 8:00 AM. I had it on in my bedroom because MJ was watching TV in the living room and THIS story came on. The one on the web is more in depth and I'm just sorta O.O right now. XD The average song comes in at a 3rd grade reading level. I knew pop music was fucking stupid, but really? I probably shouldn't be surprised, though. Listen to the average pop song these days and you'll hear the chorus or a catchy phrase sung 30 times over. It's by design that it's done, too. The industry has figured out how to get into your head and keep that catchy tune in there all day so you'll go buy their tripe.

In terms of actual pop "artists" i.e non-rock, Mariah Carey is number one by this formula. We're all doomed, darlings.

If American pop music were a book, it'd be something like James and The Giant Peach (I think I read that around 3rd grade). Apparently I've been reading Nuclear Physics written in Sumerian.

Rei~

Real quick...

I can't be online long, but I just wanted to update everyone. I have a concussion and a bruised rib from yesterday. I will be fine, please don't worry! I'm just taking it easy and trying to do everything I've been instructed to do.

Lacey took herself to work this morning and Crystal and MJ are here with me and they're doing well. MJ wakes up early as does Lacey and they had an adorable little moment this morning. She was making her coffee and he walked into the kitchen and said "Breakfast with me, Auntie?" She said she just about melted and got tears in her eyes. They had cereal together. *Turns to slush*

I'll try to get online again later, my darlings! Thank you to all who've shown me love and support! :333333

Rei~

The evil that MEN do...

I was driving Lacey to work this morning and my phone rang, it was Crystal. She was absolutely fucking hysterical. I think I've mentioned that she's got a new man in her life and he just turned on her and flipped shit over there. Lace had to call Janice and tell her there was an emergency and she couldn't make it in, our honorary grandma was cool with it. They live in Fall River and we were in fucking Weymouth, so it was an ass hauling of epic proportions. I can't tell you how many goddamn traffic laws I broke this morning.

I got 4 calls from her while heading there. He was breaking things, he slashed her fucking tires and told her she wasn't leaving and he was right there while she was talking to me. "Come on, bitch! Show up here and you're fucking dead!" Sounds like a challenge, hon!

I got there and I tried just walking in, but the door was locked and I could hear him fucking screaming at her and that poor little boy was crying his heart out. I kicked the door as hard as I could and screamed at him to come fucking kill me. He opened it up and started at me with his psycho babble and his threats. He wouldn't hit me or make good on his threats, even though I was provoking him. Crystal was yelling at him in the background telling him that he'd better not hurt me.

Where were the cops in all this, you ask? The neighbors? Nobody did anything or called anyone. I love low-income communities, don't help a young woman getting hit and berated in front of her crying toddler. *Eyeroll* He threatened to kill them all if the cops showed up. Lacey called them from the car, he didn't know she was there.

Before they showed up, he put his fist upside my head. It hurt and I fell from the force of the blow, but it didn't knock me out. I'm not superwoman by any means, but I can take a punch. I've been abused before, in many ways, but I don't always sit there and take it. He sorta shoved me around with his foot while I was down, then the cops showed up. I got to my feet and put my hands around his fucking throat and two cops separated us.

They saw Crystal, she's a fucking mess, physically and emotionally. MJ was in the living room just crying and clutching a toy for comfort. If he'd hurt him, I would've gone the route I wanted to and slashed his fucking throat with my box cutter the first chance I got. Lucky for him, he didn't. I was so fucking pissed and full of adrenaline that the cops had to hold me back. I even threw a good size rock at him and hit him in the chest. He's now in jail on about ten charges.

What was this over? Drugs, what else? He likes his cocaine, but he can't afford it all the time, so he's been smoking and shooting crack to replace it. Crystal knew about the coke, not the crack, and she found it and his paraphernalia and fucking tossed it. I know, drugs killed her husband, but we're not always the most intelligent sex... He flipped out and there you have it.

Lacey is such a sweetheart. She went to help that little boy as soon as she was able to and she got him nice and calm and they both checked on mommy and tried to make her feel better.

This is my family and I will fight for them, win or lose, just as I did with that asshole that lost it on my mom. I hate men, I really fucking do. I know there are good ones, but so many are fucking scum with a god-complex. I love and trust Darling's husband, Patrick, that's fucking it. I'm no feminist or crusader for women's rights, I just think females get the shit end of the stick. Having a vagina is worse than being black or any other color, you can disagree all you want, but that is my belief.

My sister-in-law and nephew are staying with us indefinitely now. She offered to pay us rent and shit and I refused to take it. Luckily MJ is young enough (3) so this shit doesn't phase him and he won't remember it at all in a few years. Crystal is a lovely, nice girl and she deserves better. My brother treated her like a queen and after she's over this, hopefully she'll find someone to pick up where he left off. Till then, Lace and I will be there for them in every capacity.

Rei~

Teh Win!

Just got back from taking Laceybug to work and as I was pulling in, Cuntbag ran up to my car and was all "You can have him you fucking whore! I knew it! You girls move into the neighborhood and he's after you like flies on shit!" She was all emotional. "Huh? What are you talking about?" "You're having an affair with my husband!" "That stuff I told you? I was just blowing off steam. I'm 100% lesbian." "He brought in the stuff from his car and I caught him hiding it! Letters and underwear." "Oh? Were the letters signed?" "By you! Lindsay!" (She's been calling me Lindsay since we got here. Yeah, I dunno.) *Shows her my license and watches her face droop...lower* "What the fuck?! I am SO sorry! I've gotta go. Who the fuck is Lindsay? It's not your wife is it?" "No, her name is Lacey." "I'll talk to you later, he's done this before, I just gotta go now..." *Storms off*

And the award goes to...

                                         Kim Kardashian!

Can't win them all, but this victory was sweet! I didn't want the Fat Assed Gypsy of the Year award anyway. Old people are wiser in some respects, but senility sets in and you forget things easily. We were a threat to her, it's pretty fucking obvious. The way she reacted after I said that shit to her yesterday made it crystal clear. My actual name wasn't important enough to remember, but Lindsay was in her head for whatever reason. I guarandamntee you she's over there thinking "Lindsay? I must've heard him say it before..." Yes, I AM just that fucking calculated and amazing. Now I've gotta teach Kimmy to walk and chew gum so she can take a video of it... Yeah, let's just go to this alley here...

Rei~

Suburban Jihad

I told Darling about making a comment to my cuntbag neighbor, I'm no stranger to mischief and doing fucked up shit to people, but this might be my best work yet. And this is over more than letting our dog shit in her yard. Not that destroying her marriage over dog shit is below me, but...

First of all, I told her that her husband had been staring at me a lot and that he wanted me. That if he didn't stop, I'd just fuck him, lie my ass off about loving him and get him to drop her in a flash. I also said her kids would call me mommy. I wanted her to swing at me, anything so I could fucking drop her. But why? What has this little old lady done?

She's complained to George (our landlord) twice already. We haven't been here a month! It's all senseless, baseless fucking lies, but he can't just ignore it. Loud music and partying? Yeah, we're a regular fucking sorority here. I'm a very solitary person and yeah, we have surround sound in the living room, but I don't play it THAT loud. How is she hearing it when my house is two away from hers, set back and, oh yeah, during the day when she's never fucking home???!!!!


The other one was regarding the original incident with Crumb, but it went from a potential dump on her lawn to having found several in a few days time.

I have no intentions of backing down or leaving this place. Lacey is pissed, too, but now she's all paranoid about losing everything because of this cunt. She doesn't want George mad at her because then Janice will get mad.

I have no interest in old wrinkled scrotum and wouldn't fuck or touch her husband for all the tea in China. I'm sorry to admit this, but I've gone back to smoking regular cigarettes and this is partially why. But you know what? Smoke breaks outside allow me to hear things, things like car alarms or a lack thereof. Seems hubby's car is lacking and I seem to be short a g-string... Ah well, it was all covered in female ejaculate anyway. Lots of dated, handwritten letters in his glove compartment, too. Popular guy, ne? ;)



Rei~

Freedom of Speech*

The asterisk is there for a reason, I will get to it momentarily. I saw THIS on the news this morning and it made me laugh and scratch my head a little. I didn't scroll the whole article, but a bunch of veterans are up in arms over a shirt made by Under Armour depicting a group of basketball players raising a hoop similar to the way the flag was raised at Iwo Jima.

How is this offensive? It's a group of basketball players "raising" their sport, their passion. Maybe my interpretation is off, but it doesn't matter and it's not the point. Veterans are upset because someone is exercising the rights and freedoms their brothers in arms died to protect! It's downright fucking hypocrisy!

We live in a country of testicles, darlings. You have the right to free speech, until it offends someone. The company pulled the shirt immediately, no resistance at all. Everyone lives in fear of lawsuits and being viewed as insensitive. Do you see what sensitivity has done to people? Nobody has the slightest inkling of thick skin anymore. Everything is bullying, racist, sexist, in poor taste.

I'm not saying you've gotta just sit there and take everything, but Christ! Have a sense of humor, try to understand where people are coming from. No, most people take to Twitter or Facebook and they congregate with the other thin-skinned testicles and if they make enough noise, corporations or whoever they're after will cave to their will, especially if the media gets wind of it.

That's not change, it's not what this country was built on and it sure as fucking hell wasn't what those boys at Iwo Jima died for.

Rei~


*Edit applied* I'm substituting "testicles" (or variants of) for "pussy" in the context of calling someone weak or a coward every chance I get. XD Love you, Darling!!!! :3333

I've been making stuff and doing stuff!

So, yeah, I've been busy. I've been working on improving the belly dancing costume and some other stuff. But first, my baby girl, Juliet is back where she belongs! :3

Here she is at the shoe rack when you walk in. The pink sneakers are mine, I can't wear anything with heels. She's gotta be thinking "Who am I sharing my house with now?" looking at Lacey's spikey numbers. XD As I said, she's my shadow and it doesn't matter that we've been apart, the bond is still there. She did NOT want to share me with Lace last night. She didn't scratch or hiss, but she did get her back up a bit and gave her that cattitude we cat owners know all about. It's better today, but we've got some work to do. Eh heh...

I don't wanna model the dance outfit until I'm satisfied and I'm also working on a good hair/makeup scheme as well.

Dye touchup.

Tassles I made, these are sort of on the fence as to whether I'll add them to the outfit.

Some crochet, where will it end up?

Hoping to have this all sorted by Sunday!

Rei~

Truth.

"America is the GREATEST country on Earth!!!" Really? Then why is healthcare a benefit? Why is somebody in Communist Cuba paying $2.50 for a lifesaving medication when people that rushed into that chemical cesspool that was the twin tower wreckage to save lives mortgaging their house 3 times over to pay for theirs?

Yes, it's true. I know a lot of people like to bash Michael Moore, maybe some of it is deserved, but watch his film "Sicko" and tell me it doesn't fucking enrage you. This whole fucking healthcare system we have here makes me sick. That it was partially cooked up by a sitting president should make you even sicker, but is it really that surprising? Health is not a BENEFIT! You shouldn't have to work for it or even fucking pay for it. Yes, I've been a recipient of governmental insurance, but do you know how much it doesn't pay for?

Every year they cut medications, services and treatments from programs across the country and medication copays are on the rise. This is how we treat people? And a lot of people have this image of some crackwhore with 7 kids as the type that predominantly receives these "benefits", but that's not the case. A good majority of people who receive them are hard working people buried in debt or that got cut from the insurance they have through work because they forgot to dot an "i" on a claim form.

I'm tired of the notion that socialized medicine is going to turn us into Communist Russia. Socialism is NOT Communism. Is Canada or any of western Europe Communist? Last I checked, no. That argument was created by the rich fucks in Washington and on Wall Street because if that happens, they stop banking millions and billions a year.

Did you ever notice that the top aspiration for most children is doctor or lawyer? Ask any classroom and I guarantee you at least 50 percent give you one of those answers. Doctors make lots of money, as do lawyers. Doctors here make more than anywhere else in the world. It's a great paying profession anywhere, but find me a surgeon in Europe that has 7 luxury cars 2 huge homes and a place on the beach. Lawyers, well... There are good and bad, but the richest ones keep the government and corporate suits raping you six ways from Sunday out of prison.

Sure, become a doctor or lawyer. Have fun paying back all that money you borrowed! Work your ass off in school for minimum 8 years then spend half your working life paying back your loans and maybe you can enjoy your hard work by the time you're in your 50's, just hope you can afford your cancer meds by then.

There are countries in Europe where you can go to college for free or next to nothing for a lot of things. But you wanna know what's REALLY backwards? People there with what are considered minimum wage jobs here can afford to live. Will it be a lavish life? No. But they live comfortably, healthfully and without mountains of crushing debt. I've known people who've worked in stores and restaurants who live better than most middle-class people do here.

I'm sorry, but the US is a disguised third world. The difference being that instead of some armed militia controlling the wealth, it's a bunch of assholes in suits. America, love it or leave it! Right? How about we change it? Other goverments fear the people, somehow that's been flip-flopped here. We elect and pay these pricks, how about they scratch our backs for a change. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness! Read the fine print and you'll see "Terms and conditions apply. Offer valid to straight, white, Christian men only."

The reason "regular" people bitch about Europe, Canada, etc. is because they realize they got a raw deal. Curse them fuckers for treating people like people!

Rei~

Just...stuff...

So I've been working on my belly dancing every day and I think I'm progressing well! Maybe some video or at least a few stills will be in order soon... It does hurt me, though. I was talking to a neighbor the other night (the one we babysat for) and while talking, I started becoming very uncomfortable standing in one spot. I had to go in and lie down, but then the doorbell rang a short time later.

Lace let my neighbor, Katrina, in and she had some pills for me. She gave me a handful of Neurontin, also known as Gabapentin. If you've not heard of it, it functions similar to things like Lyrica. It blocks nerve pain caused by ailments like Fibromyalgia, Diabetes and Neuropathy, the latter of which I have. I've been on this drug before and it works, maybe a little too well... I've only been prescribed the 300mg pills, but these are 800. I took four of them after todays routine and now I'm very relaxed, devoid of pain and lost in another dimension or something.

Walking feels like I'm floating on air and even sitting here with Laceface, I just feel all loose and relaxed and very happy. :3 In other words, I'm stoned out of my head! XD Now I'm just gonna say stuff and post pictures...

My dress from today! Yay pink loli stuffs!! 

I got these to add to my belly dancing getup! Nom! They're not real and will be going in my hair.

My mom sent me this! From when she was taking care of me in November 2012... ;.; Juliet is my shadow, you guys. Seriously, she doesn't let me go anywhere alone. When I used to go out, she'd follow me to the door and look at me like "Iz I goings 2, mama?!" I gave in quite a few times. Oh, and she'll be here to stay tomorrow! I talked to my mom when I picked up honey bunny today and basically told her she can't send me shit like this while my baby is over there and NOT expect me to want her back... She was totally understanding. :3 

XDDD

This would be the best comic book EVAR! I know she's my hero! :3 Lace found this.

Don't piss off ice cream! Diarrhea and brain freeze if you do! 

Lacey in a nutshell! XD Speaking of Lacey and pink, with her porcelain skin, I swear to Allah that I've never seen nipples and lady bits THAT PINK... I love it! And I don't know why she or anyone else hates being pale... Is skin cancer any more attractive?

So true! 50 Shades bondage/sex/whatever is okay because it's a love story with a message and it made a ton of money. Just filming sex is a one way trip to hell... *Eye roll*

Have you seen the Coca-Cola bottles with names on them?! That freaked me the fuck out when I first saw it. Not sure why, it just did. I have a small collection of Rachael/Rachel bottles... We're on the lookout for a Lacey one! :3

Food now! More stupidity to come, I'm sure! These pills last about 12 hours. Yes.

Rei~

The Death of Death Before Dishonor & The Glorification of Suicide

So much of what you hear in music seems to glorify the practice of suicide. You want some truth about musicians? A lot of them really like money. So they will glorify and romanticize the shit out of things like that to take money from people who actually feel these things. And I'm not saying that it's all this way. Many creative people are indeed in a lot of pain. But music is as much a business as it is an artform. And like any business, for every honest businessman/woman there are ten crooked fucks willing to lie, cheat and steal their way to the top. Just think of that before the next time you wanna cut your wrists to a song because they know you're pain. Songs end, musicians go home and write more. You get one chance here, don't throw it away on a meaningless song. They'll get more fans to replace you, those close to you don't have that luxury...

The biggest glorification of suicide comes from Japan. All of you who want to end your life via seppuku (ritual suicide) listen up! Bushido, The Way of the Warrior, which states "Death Before Dishonor" was created for the Samurai class hundreds of years ago. Not EVERYONE was or could be a Samurai. It was select people from select bloodlines, etc. In the late 1800s, the Samurai class was abolished when emperor Meiji was forced to reopen Japan's ports by an American fleet of ships threatening to shell Japanese cities if they did not. Meiji took an interest in everything western, including weapons and war tactics. Samurai were forced to shame themselves and that was really the last time death before dishonor applied to who it was actually meant for.

When Japan's war machine hit its full stride, the government saw fit to reinstate the old samurai code. However, it was declared that ALL Japanese possessed the spirit of a samurai within. That it was okay to take your own life if you were shamed or if it was in defense of your country. At least the soldier's in WWII did it because they often faced insurmountable odds in battle, but it was still a perversion of the old ways.

Suicide in general is and has always been looked upon with a more lax view than most other nations have of it, but do you know why a lot of Japanese kill themselves today? Because people get themselves into trouble with debt. The Yakuza is very real and they love the loansharking business. Their economy is shit and people borrow and can't pay it back, so rather than face the music, a lot of them kill themselves. There was actually quite the epidemic of it in the early 2000s. That and regular debt is a lot of the reason for it. Where it isn't a mortal sin, many life insurance companies pay out for suicides. The loansharks and/or creditors get paid and life goes on for everyone but you and those who cared deeply for you.

Obviously debt isn't the only reason, people kill themselves for all sorts of reasons in every corner of the globe. But I just want you to look at it from this perspective, fellow samurai. That warrior who was shamed in battle was most likely gonna die either way. He just did it to die the way he wanted to and with some dignity. It is precisely for this reason why I believe in assisted suicide today. I don't fucking care how it's done, if you're terminally ill and know nothing but a life of unimaginable physical and emotional pain, you should be able to end your life. I don't care who says it's wrong or where your soul is going, nobody has the right to force you to live in untreatable agony while you wake up cursing the world for another day of hell on earth.

I've tried to end my life several times, you know that. Do you know what I've realized from those experiences? What was I thinking? Look at what I've done to myself and those around me. I've lost the love and trust of most of my family because I couldn't reach out to anyone. Instead of picking up a phone and dialing three stupid numbers, I picked up a razor or a bottle of pills.

My brother is dead, do you know how much that hurts me every single day? And do you know what hurts even more? That he had to be the one to find me near death, a couple times. What scars must that have inflicted upon his mind? Did he lie awake at night thinking "What if I hadn't found her in time?" There are a lot of things I'll never get the answers to now.

I know life sucks. I probably know it better than a lot of people. But, it's better than the alternative. I've been dead, there's nothing waiting for you. It goes black and that's fucking it, folks. You're worm food. I'm not trying to depress you, preach to you or scare you, that's just my life and my experience. I don't have a lot of friends or family left, but you'd best believe I treasure what I've got more than anything in this world. I'm related to people, but they hate and distrust me so much for everything I've done that I might as well not exist. I've got plenty of friends rotting in the ground from suicide, drugs or a combination of those. I've lost two people I used to shoot dope with already this year.

Think what you want about me or what I have to say. I'm just a crazy junkie after all. And idolize those musicians who have actually killed themselves. Their profundity and infinite wisdom in their words. But think about everyone they left behind and how painful it must be for them to hear them.

Rei~

Thoughts on today and some other stuff...

I managed to get a pretty good belly dancing session in during the late morning/early afternoon hours today! ^^ Good, in the sense that I worked up a sweat and got some basics down, I probably looked like a fool otherwise! XD It's different than what I did a couple years ago, but I had fun and I'm gonna keep at it! Ganbate! (fight/try hard, do your best!) If anyone is wondering what the kanji above my new profile mean, it's Hijoshikina which literally translates to "Insane". XD

If you're wondering why Lace did a tip of the day in her post today, it's because of two lovely guys who saw us leaving a local convenience store this morning. We usually go to Dunkin Donuts, but it was more packed than usual so we went elsewhere for coffee and sugary treats. There were two dudes parked next to us just shooting the shit, drinking their coffee and we were getting back in the car and we heard one say something about whether or not Lace was a natural blonde. These were older guys, probably with kids about her age. And that's what I said to them. "Would you talk to your daughter like that? I don't know you, don't want to, but have a little fucking class and at least wait until we can't hear you." They didn't say anything and we moved along. Fucking men...

And now it's time to take another shot at Hollyweird!

You know I hate Kim Kardashian. She got famous for a fucking sex tape, then a stupid reality show, and now she's got a book out. Yay Kim! I don't know if it's a book OF selfies or a book about selfies, but it's something to do with a topic that doesn't deserve more than half a sentence. And people were lined up for a block and a half in NYC to buy it and get an autograph! What the fuck am I missing? What goddamn drug did I take to make me not be able to understand what is so fucking polarizing about this bitch?! This bitch is what little girls wanna be! What the fuck is wrong with this country?! She's stupid, she has NO talent outside of taking pictures with her iPhone and we idolize her and keep throwing money in her direction! It's a scary time to have a daughter, I have to imagine. She's not the only one being rewarded for doing nothing, but she is the worst offender.


Sekai de ichiban daikirai... Baka baita!


And why does every female celebrity have to have a clothing line these days? None of it is anything original or even particularly interesting.

The rich get richer and they don't even have to do anything for it anymore. USA! USA! *Eyes get stuck in her head*

Rei~

To cap off the greatest weekend ever...

I would like to tell you about something that not a lot of people know about me... I love dancing. I don't know if I've ever mentioned that. I don't go to nightclubs or raves or anything, mainly because crowds make me nervous and I don't like being touched by strangers, let alone a few hundred drunk/high ones. I dance at home. All that electronic music I love is not just music to my ears, it physically moves me as well. I don't claim to be good at it, but honestly, I don't really care.

But dance music is not my only love. When I was living in NH with Rob and Timothy, I took an interest in Belly Dancing. I looked at pictures and videos of the different styles online and decided to make an outfit for myself. I did a drawing titled "The Dancer" that is currently in my gallery on Darling's Pinterest. It's actually one of the outlines I did for the outfit. After completion, I tried imitating some of the things I saw online, but I wasn't satisfied.

I took a class in Concord, NH for two months. I learned a lot and I'd love to have learned more, but my back wouldn't allow it. I was in so much pain after each class that I had to have Rob drive me to and from and I'd eat pain killers until I passed out. I was also the heaviest that I'd been since I was pregnant and that didn't help matters, neither did Rob's fat jokes and smart ass comments that made me incredibly self-conscious about going, so I quit.

Here are a few photos from that time:

Practicing on the stairs before class.

God, I look disgusting... *Sigh* I think I posted this on NecROSEphelia.

Happy after class! :3

So what does any of this have to do with my life now?!

Behold my return to sewing!

Dance pants! ^^

Uuuunnndddd...

This is the first bra of any type that I've ever made! It's a tribal design because I'm going to be learning American Tribal Style belly dancing. I'm not taking a class, though. It's not that I don't want to or can't afford it, I just don't want a repeat of last time. I bought THIS DVD to start with. I just unveiled the outfit to Lace after our adorable, well-mannered little guest went home, so I'm gonna try the DVD tomorrow! Hopefully I'll feel up to it! I ran a filter over that pic, by the way. To give it a nice look and I also have digitally edited out any scars that concealer wouldn't hide. The big one that put me in the nuthouse is below where the photo cuts off.

See! It's poyple! XD 

And it has nothing to do with dancing, but my mom gave me this for Mother's Day:

It's a Blueberry plant! I've told her how envious I am of Darling's green thumb, so she got me this! :3 Hopefully I won't kill it! XD

Thank you to everyone who made my weekend and Mother's Day so amazing! Darling in a rainbow wig, Timothy calling (he called to say goodnight tonight!) my mom and Lace for being the most amazing wife, lover and friend I could ever ask for. She got a little upset yesterday and I felt so bad... She was afraid I was gonna leave her for Rob. I understood her fear, but I promised her yesterday and I'll say it again here; That will NEVER happen. Never fucking ever, my love. I love you and you only. I have never cheated on or run off with anyone and I never will. You are the reason I continue to breathe, honey bunny. If I lose you, my life ceases to have purpose or meaning. I swore till death do us part and that is a promise I will die trying to keep.

Rei~

Hardware Review: Nintendo Wii U (32 GB)

First, I just wanna say that I scraped and saved every penny I could to get this thing. Six months of saving up got me enough to get this and a few games. I bought it because I desperately needed something to keep me occupied, but also because the controller functions as a tablet and I wanted to get back online.

I know that the Wii U is basically a failure. They've only sold about 10 million consoles since its release in 2012. Third party support is nearly extinct and games trickle out very slowly. The original Wii was a pop culture phenomenon and Nintendo bucked the trend of insane graphics to make a motion control centered system. It outsold the 360/PS3 by a huge margin, but it had very few games that hardcore gamers could sink their teeth into. There was an endless supply of shovelware and games that didn't even work entirely.

Nintendo followed up their success with the Wii U. The system launched in late 2012 with yet another innovative controller, the Wii U Gamepad. 

At first glance, it looks very bulky and uncomfortable. It does take some getting used to, I will say that. However, once you do, the worries are gone and it becomes second nature. The left side features an analog stick, Dpad, and a sensor for the amiibo figures. (they're little toys that add/unlock things in supported games) At the top of the contoller you've got the L & R buttons and ZL/ZR triggers in the back. The right side has another analog stick, four face buttons and the start and select buttons.

There's also a button that allows you to use the gamepad as a TV remote. A few simple steps allows you to control everything on your TV and cable/satellite box and the bundled Nintendo TVii software can even act as an onscreen guide.

The screen on the Gamepad is pretty amazing, I'm actually typing this on it. XD It's a high definition LCD touch screen and just about everything looks great on it. The only real drawback is the Virtual Console games. Playing a 16-Bit SNES or GBA game plays just fine, but they look very pixelated on the HD screen and there's no way to adjust it. Otherwise, the Wii U games and internet video/pics look great.

One of the best features of the system is "Off TV Play" which allows you to play your game on the Gamepad, allowing someone else to use the TV. Lacey and I do this quite often. I'll play Wii U on this and she'll play PS3 on the TV. Not all games support this feature, though. All Nintendo games do and some developers that didn't include it originally do incorporate it via a downloadable update. Even the ones that don't offer it allow you to use the touch screen for something in-game.

The controller has a camera on it, but it has limited functionality. You can only use it in Wii U Chat, a sort of Nintendo Skype and to make your Mii (your little avatar) look more like you. The only game I've played that uses it is Zombi U which has a bonus feature that morphs your face into a Zombie. I wish they'd let you just use it freely, but whatever.

The last feature I'll talk about is motion controls. The Wii U is NOT like the Wii at all. The gamepad can be used to tilt things in games and you can use the touch screen to do various things. They seem to have taken a cue from Sony, as it's more like the PS3's controller with a touch screen. You CAN play all the old Wii games via backwards compatibility. There is a sensor in the box for the Wii Remote/Nunchuck but you have to have or buy the controllers separately.

The system itself is smaller than the 360/PS3 as well as the current generation of consoles. It's very sturdy and slightly heavy, but Nintendo builds quality like no one else. When's the last time you heard of a Nintendo Red Ring of Death epidemic? Never, that's when. It also runs VERY quiet. Running a game is a little noisy, but not nearly as bad as some others. When playing Virtual Console games or going online or doing anything not involving a disc, you don't even know it's on.

Now, the negatives:

Nintendo is in a pickle. The Wii U, for all it's forward strides is sadly behind Sony and Microsoft in terms of graphical technology. The games are slightly better looking than Sony and Microsoft's last-gen consoles. They tried wooing hardcore gamers by ditching what casual gamers loved about the Wii, but hardcore gamers often want the latest and greatest looking games. I don't think games will ever be "ugly" again, but I've played the current hardware and its evolved lightyears beyond what Nintendo's console can do. Why are developers gonna waste time making games that look worse?

Nintendo is rumored to already be working on its next console, codenamed "NX". I'm not hurt or feeling cheated or stupid for buying my Wii U, I really do love it and there are great games for it. Add to that that Nintendo FINALLY has an online strategy and you can get classic games, indie games, demos and even full Wii U games from the eShop and it's a great start. 

Nintendo needs to get away from being a closed universe, though. Too much of what the Wii U does have is limited to using it soley with Nintendo users and products. It needs a bigger hard drive that lets you save more than what Nintendo says you can save. You can't download pictures, videos, music or apps. Speaking of apps, where are they? Its got YouTube, Amazon Instant Video, Netflix, and Crunchy Roll. Where are the music apps? Why can you only video chat with other Wii U users? These and many other things need to be addressed, but probably won't be.

Final Thoughts:

I'm happy with my console, I try not to pay attention to all the shithead comments online. I don't care if it's popular or not, I just wanna play great games. I love the controller and I honestly believe it's the biggest leap forward in how we play games since the introduction of the analog stick.

There's no doubting that it's a system on the rocks, but there are great games on the horizon and then it will probably walk off into the sunset. Nintendo has a chance of reviving itself if they can get the NX on the market by 2016. If it's comparable or better than the current hardware of their competition, it will be a 3 console war that we all benefit from.

I give the Wii U a 4 out of 5!

:3

Rei~

Fun in the dark...

Lace and I had a great night last night, it was a perfect way to cap off an awesome day. We waited until it was almost dark and went outside with some food to grill up. We've got a really nice gas grill and we cooked some steak and chicken and I'd made up some rice pilaf and french fries inside. We actually ended up wrapping most of it up for leftovers. XD

I setup the torches I bought around the swing and lit them and we just cuddled and talked for a few minutes, then it went to kissing and hands feeling their way to special places. I won't give you every detail, I'll just say that Lace had her first outdoor sexual experience and she loved it, as did I! :3

We've got an enormous backyard and our house is setback from the rest of the neighborhood, so if anyone saw anything, they'd had to have been looking for it. There was a bit of an echo, so the neighbors might've HEARD something, though. No noise complaints, so that's good. XD :3

Just wanna wish my mom and mommy-in-law Amelia a Happy Mother's Day! I gave my mom her gift yesterday and Lace and I mailed stuff to Michigan last week. We've gotta go call our special ladies now! :3

Rei~

...... *Tears*

I just saw the anonymous comment on my last post telling me to check my email. I did and to say I was shocked by who it was from would be putting it very lightly... It was from Rob and I'm so goddamn shocked, happy and just everything... Here is the unedited copy and paste (I only left out his email address and phone number):

I've been reading your blog just about every day. It took me a bit to find the new one and no I'm not stalking you. You've said a lot of really fucked up shit about me on there but I'm not writing you to talk shit, threaten or upset you. I'm also not trying to get back together with you we tried that and look whats happened. Your dad gave me your email address and I know you guys aren't on good terms and I don't want any part of that war either.

I'm writing you to tell you that I just want to get back on speaking terms with you because Tim is constantly asking for you. Its taken its toll on me, Rachael. I know what I did was fucked up but you can't keep doing what you do to a kid his age and not expect to lose him. I've always loved the fact that you're a stand-up person willing to own up and admit you fucked up, that's rare in people. You did the fucking dope nobody stuck a needle in your arm, a straw up your nose or threw pills down your throat. I got them for you and I did them too but you get out of control and if I didn't get them you would've found another way. A 9 year old kid doesn't need to see his mother passed out or so fucking high she can't speak real words or fucking overdosed. You put the drugs over him and don't say you didn't because how many times did I come home and find him by himself because you were upstairs high or knocked out and had been since before he got home.

I saw your post and I've been reading lately and it looks like you've finally got your shit together. I'm not trying to be disciplinarian and say you can't talk to him if you don't behave because I was gonna do this anyway, but it makes me more comfortable doing it knowing you're off dope and have some stability. I know you missed his birthday last year and he was upset as fuck but you're not gonna miss it this year. I can't get up there and my wife doesn't want you coming down here but I'll give you my address and phone number so you can send him something and at least call.

That is my cell number. Just send me yours so I can add it and I'll put a separate ring tone on it. You can call whenever you want and if you send me yours, he wants to call and wish you a happy mothers day. We sent you a package the other day and it should be at your moms house today or Monday. Your dad gave me her address too and told me to send a letter bomb. lol I don't want any part of that.

I know it didn't work out and that everything isn't your fault because I did plenty of bad shit to you and made more than my fair share of mistakes. We both fucked up and we're fucking toxic for one another. But we have a kid that needs his parents in his life. Amy loves him and is great with him but he's your son and you can damn well bet that I've drilled it into her head more than once because she's overstepped her bounds plenty. I do everything for him and he has everything he needs and plenty more. The storm coming isn't gonna affect us and we're not near the coast so don't worry.

Call this afternoon and you can talk till your hearts content. I don't love you anymore, but I do care about you and you'll always have a place in my heart. I'm sorry if you don't believe that, but you do. Congrats on the marriage too. She's beautiful and I'm glad you found someone that makes you happy.

Bliss and Fear

I really wish I could've snapped a picture of what I'm about to describe for you... We got a pretty big sectional couch for our house, so Lace and I have plenty of room to stretch out and our little petting zoo can join us, too. But if we're just watching TV or one of us is playing a game or whatever, we usually snuggle together.

We were watching the Glory Kickboxing show that was on last night and I was stretched out lying on the couch and Lacey was laying on me, which is a pretty typical position we use. She fell asleep on me with her Grumpy Bunny under her arm. It was just very warming and sweet to me. :3 I love being snuggled by her and knowing that I make her feel safe. I know I've said it a million times, but my life feels complete. She completes me. It's bliss. :3

Buuuuut...

If you haven't heard, Tropical Storm Ana is heading towards the Carolinas. My little boy is in North Carolina, but I'm not sure where. I'm so worried that he's near the coast and that something will happen. I know it's not a seriously strong storm, but any tropical storm is dangerous and the ones we had while in New Hampshire terrified him... Rob is a pig and a scumbag to me, but he is a great dad to our son. I hope that hasn't changed and he keeps my baby safe...

Rei~

What MEN think of your shaved twat...

Obviously Yahoo can't title their article like that, but I can! Anyway, yes, I put this on Twitter, but I'd like to elaborate a bit more here. READ ME!

As you can see, most of them approve, but there are two who don't. The first one is full of fucking shit or just a complete asshole. You're telling me that because a woman has no hair on her cunt, you won't fuck her more than once?! He's either got more hairy twat than he knows what to do with or he's a new breed of male. What man on earth is gonna get a call from a woman saying "Hey, hon. I'm horny and I just wanna fuck" and turn around and say "Not until you grow your pubes back!" Nice try.

Then we've got a good ol'boy saying that he doesn't like it because it makes women look prepubescent. I've heard that before and it's more valid than the first guy's excuse, but again, you're not turning down free pussy, sweetheart. And I don't know what part of the south this dude lives in, but the totally shaved/Brazilian thing is everywhere... I would imagine it would be MORE prevalent in the south, if anything. But maybe he lives in a real backwoods area and his daughters don't go that way...

I love how Sex And The City gets credit for popularizing it, too. I think I watched 2 episodes of that show and then got tired of looking at Sarah Jessica Parker's weird face while waiting for the "Sex" parts to happen. The porn industry had nothing to do with popularizing it, I'm sure... ;)

I obviously don't care what men think about anything, it doesn't effect me. I just wanted to point out how hilarious that was. I've done the Brazilian thing for years and am back to doing it once again. I've never had ANYONE, male or female, refuse sex or say my pubes or lack thereof are a turn-off, nor have I ever done it to anyone.

Rei~

New Blog!

I've been wanting to start a side-blog dedicated to a specific interest for a very long time and now I've done so. My new blog, Rose-Colored Future, is dedicated to my love of pro-wrestling. Fear not, this isn't going anywhere and will still be updated with stuff from my daily life and everything you've come to expect from me over the years! ^^

There aren't many female puroresu bloggers out there, so let's see how this goes! :3

Rei~

Revolutionary Girls Change The World! These ones don't...

I saw an interesting Tweet from WWE's Lana tonight. She stated that WWE Divas are rolemodels for young girls. In a way, I agree. Nothing in pro-wrestling is handed to anyone, it's all earned. WWE is a billion dollar conglomerate, the biggest stage in the wrestling world. Very few ever make it and even fewer get to the top. So in that respect, achieving a dream is something to work hard at and strive for.

But at the same time, look at the bigger picture. WWE Divas all fit a bodytype. Athletic, pretty and I don't think there's a Diva on the roster that's below a C-Cup. I'm not here to knock them for their fake tits, skimpy ring attire or anything pertaining to their looks. That's what the business wants. American wrestling has always been about people who have "the look". Screw talent, as long as they look good on TV... What about the girls who can't look like that? That have all the ability, but that don't want fake tits or other surgery?

Then look at how much TV time they get. Yes, there are less women involved, but there are a good 10+ women on the roster and they seem to trot out the same 4-5 every week. If that's not bad enough, they're lucky to have 2 womens matches (usually there's just one) between 5 hours of mainstream TV every week and they're usually the shortest of the show.

So what are you telling girls, really? Work your little heart out and destroy your body to be a second rate afterthought for 5 minutes a week. Modify your body to be eye candy for men and be made out to look like a catty bitch in some cliched storyline. Some dream.

I have slightly more respect for Impact Wrestling who gives them more freedom, time and has actual wrestlers like Awesome Kong and Gail Kim to go along with the titty show. Although, the titty show is starting to overwhelm that promotion, too.

I'm not gonna draw comparisons to Japan, because there aren't any. Joshi (Ladies/Womens) Puroresu is actually about women who have ability and don't need fake tits or skimpy costumes to get ahead. They talk with what they do in the ring, oftentimes OUTDOING their male counterparts. They have their own promotions and dojos that seldom see foreign trainees because of how hard the training is.

In the 1980s, Chigusa Nagayo and Lioness Asuka formed a tag team called The Crush Gals. These two women with butch haircuts and the bodies of FIGHTERS (lesbians, both) inspired a generation of young women to become senshu (fighters), so much so that the AJW (All Japan Women's Pro-Wrestling) dojo couldn't handle the volume of potential students. After them, it was Manami Toyota, Akira Hokuto, and many more. THOSE are rolemodels that didn't sell themselves short or use their bodies to get ahead.

Rei~

Mrs. Irwin's Neighborhood

(Somebody was sneaking up behind me for a boob squeeze...)

No kiddie diddling, cardigan wearing creeps here! Just corset wearing Gyaru's and Bunny Girls. Having lived in the city for over a year, it's a bit of a culture shock coming back to suburbia. No drug addicts (not out in the open, anyway), emergency sirens at all hours or being asked for money or cigarettes every three steps you take. Very much a different world...

I took Crumb for a walk earlier while dressed just as you see me in the picture. Most of the people around here seem to work during the day, so it's quiet and I didn't get stared at or commented on...much. There's an older couple two houses down and Crumby pants wanted to use their lawn as a toilet. The wife was home and going to her car just as he was looking for a spot. I really don't wanna get an asshole tag slapped on me after being here less than a week, so I WAS trying to pull him in a different direction.

Old Lady: You're cleaning that up if he does it! (She was pretty nasty in her tone)

Me: He won't, sorry!

Old Lady: Make sure he doesn't. You can't come here and just let your animals shit all over people's yards.

Me: Okay! Jesus...

Old Lady: You're quite the flamboyant little thing, aren't you?

Me: That's me! Just an attention seeking, harlot lesboqueer! We're gonna be the best of friends!

Old Lady: Stay off my property! *Gets in her car*

I REALLY wanted to leave a steaming pile of Min Pin poop on her lawn, but she'd know it was me. Believe me, it's on and I will get her ass. If you don't believe me, go ask the born agains that lived next to me for years and years in East Bridgewater... ;)

Gotta go get Laceface! :3

Rei~

Home Sweet Home!

Very tired and sore from moving shit and unpacking shit. Furniture delivery guys are shit, they took forever to put our shit together. Figures that I would almost marry some piece of shit that did that shit for a living. Shithead.

Other than the furniture assholes, everything went smoothly! The house is a bit of a trainwreck at present, but there's tomorrow to straighten the rest up and put things where they go. Just gonna relax for the rest of today. It's fucking hot outside! Wut iz this? Central AC? My new best friend... :3 I HATE the summer with a firey passion!

Haku is coming tomorrow and Lace is overjoyed. I've gotta make plans to get my shit out of storage and the FIOS guy is coming tomorrow. We're stealing Wifi from the neighbors and the cable connection wasn't disconnected from the street, so we have basic cable for tonight.

I've been juggling two Ninja Gaiden games lately. Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z for PS3, which is fucking insane and how I'd not heard of this is beyond me. It's your most violent anime fantasies come to life... :3 And I've been trying to complete NG 3: Razor's Edge for the Wii U. I beat the main game, now I'm working on completing the Ninja Trials. I've been playing as Momiji, trying to unlock her sexy costumes. I'm very much smitten... :3

The Wii U actually has a neat piece of software called Wii U Image Share. Basically what it does is take screencaps from games and lets you post them to Facebook/Twitter. I'll probably be spamming Twitter with them then moving my faves over here.

Ah, time to kick back for a bit, then dinner and whatever else before sexy house christening time. Well, the shower has been christened already, but there's plenty of ground to cover!

Rei~