The Death of Death Before Dishonor & The Glorification of Suicide

So much of what you hear in music seems to glorify the practice of suicide. You want some truth about musicians? A lot of them really like money. So they will glorify and romanticize the shit out of things like that to take money from people who actually feel these things. And I'm not saying that it's all this way. Many creative people are indeed in a lot of pain. But music is as much a business as it is an artform. And like any business, for every honest businessman/woman there are ten crooked fucks willing to lie, cheat and steal their way to the top. Just think of that before the next time you wanna cut your wrists to a song because they know you're pain. Songs end, musicians go home and write more. You get one chance here, don't throw it away on a meaningless song. They'll get more fans to replace you, those close to you don't have that luxury...

The biggest glorification of suicide comes from Japan. All of you who want to end your life via seppuku (ritual suicide) listen up! Bushido, The Way of the Warrior, which states "Death Before Dishonor" was created for the Samurai class hundreds of years ago. Not EVERYONE was or could be a Samurai. It was select people from select bloodlines, etc. In the late 1800s, the Samurai class was abolished when emperor Meiji was forced to reopen Japan's ports by an American fleet of ships threatening to shell Japanese cities if they did not. Meiji took an interest in everything western, including weapons and war tactics. Samurai were forced to shame themselves and that was really the last time death before dishonor applied to who it was actually meant for.

When Japan's war machine hit its full stride, the government saw fit to reinstate the old samurai code. However, it was declared that ALL Japanese possessed the spirit of a samurai within. That it was okay to take your own life if you were shamed or if it was in defense of your country. At least the soldier's in WWII did it because they often faced insurmountable odds in battle, but it was still a perversion of the old ways.

Suicide in general is and has always been looked upon with a more lax view than most other nations have of it, but do you know why a lot of Japanese kill themselves today? Because people get themselves into trouble with debt. The Yakuza is very real and they love the loansharking business. Their economy is shit and people borrow and can't pay it back, so rather than face the music, a lot of them kill themselves. There was actually quite the epidemic of it in the early 2000s. That and regular debt is a lot of the reason for it. Where it isn't a mortal sin, many life insurance companies pay out for suicides. The loansharks and/or creditors get paid and life goes on for everyone but you and those who cared deeply for you.

Obviously debt isn't the only reason, people kill themselves for all sorts of reasons in every corner of the globe. But I just want you to look at it from this perspective, fellow samurai. That warrior who was shamed in battle was most likely gonna die either way. He just did it to die the way he wanted to and with some dignity. It is precisely for this reason why I believe in assisted suicide today. I don't fucking care how it's done, if you're terminally ill and know nothing but a life of unimaginable physical and emotional pain, you should be able to end your life. I don't care who says it's wrong or where your soul is going, nobody has the right to force you to live in untreatable agony while you wake up cursing the world for another day of hell on earth.

I've tried to end my life several times, you know that. Do you know what I've realized from those experiences? What was I thinking? Look at what I've done to myself and those around me. I've lost the love and trust of most of my family because I couldn't reach out to anyone. Instead of picking up a phone and dialing three stupid numbers, I picked up a razor or a bottle of pills.

My brother is dead, do you know how much that hurts me every single day? And do you know what hurts even more? That he had to be the one to find me near death, a couple times. What scars must that have inflicted upon his mind? Did he lie awake at night thinking "What if I hadn't found her in time?" There are a lot of things I'll never get the answers to now.

I know life sucks. I probably know it better than a lot of people. But, it's better than the alternative. I've been dead, there's nothing waiting for you. It goes black and that's fucking it, folks. You're worm food. I'm not trying to depress you, preach to you or scare you, that's just my life and my experience. I don't have a lot of friends or family left, but you'd best believe I treasure what I've got more than anything in this world. I'm related to people, but they hate and distrust me so much for everything I've done that I might as well not exist. I've got plenty of friends rotting in the ground from suicide, drugs or a combination of those. I've lost two people I used to shoot dope with already this year.

Think what you want about me or what I have to say. I'm just a crazy junkie after all. And idolize those musicians who have actually killed themselves. Their profundity and infinite wisdom in their words. But think about everyone they left behind and how painful it must be for them to hear them.

Rei~